A Chance In Life (HIATUS)
by AdFinemAdInfinitum
Summary: "A pinch of mystery, I see in him. And self-hatred. For being a coward and knowing it... What more could a girl ask for?" Astoria declared smirking dismissively. She hated it when people asked what she saw in a guy. -DM/AG - R
1. Rotten World, Dreaming Fools

**A/N: Hello!**

**This is a Draco Malfoy/Astoria Greengrass story (well, duh…)**

**At first it is a bit deceiving. **

**Just saying**

**Reviews are honored and appreciated immensely**

**Reviews also help the writer use those few brain cells of his to update the next chapter**

**So… yeah… **

**Review!**

**And,**

**Enjoy!**

_**A CHANCE IN LIFE **_

**Chapter 1: Rotten World, Dreaming Fools**

"_Part of me I'll never see_

_Come visit me in my dreams_

_I feel my actions are destroying me_

_Deep down below the shallow life I lead_

_The pain is mine to keep and call my own_

_I'll carry it until I'm gone__" _

_My Only – Goodnight Nurse_

He took another sip from his champagne, irritated. Bloody parents, bloody parties. Bloody _façade_.

People chatting, smiling , joking amicably.

"Oh, what a nice dress you have Cissy! I do love blue on you."

"But, Olivia, dear, nothing compares to your exquisite necklace. It is really breath-taking."

Liars. All of them. His parents included. Well… no surprise there.

And was he not a liar himself?

No doubt.

"Now, if you ask me Malfoy, this 'War' deal hasn't affected your business at all."

"Money is still flowing is it not Bert?"

"Well, look at us! It certainly is."

Decadent men. All of them. Reassuring each other that they were still on the track and running. That there was still hope for them.

There wasn't any.

Things like that, hope, success, money, were now on other people's hands. Draco could easily think of five such people.

Longbottom, Weasley, Granger, Lovegood… -he stumbled on his wounded ego momentarily- Potter.

It was the age of blood-traitors and mud-bloods now. And he was stuck with the purebloods.

An old, rotten breed of wizards that was now slowly dying, decaying amidst cocktail parties.

Two years ago he was proud to announce he attended such parties. There was that gleam in his fellow Slytherins' eyes that used to satisfy him immensely.

Not anymore.

Now they didn't even bother to look at him if -by some accident- they happened to meet.

"My, my! Look at Draco. Honestly Cissy, he has grown to be a very handsome gentleman."

"He has, hasn't he? Lucius and I are so proud. If only he was a little more sociable."

"But it's only natural, my dear. There is no one his age in here."

"There is Daphne and Blaize."

"Indeed but I am sure he just doesn't want to interrupt them. It is never nice to come between a couple."

_Daphne and Blaize. __Right. _He had forgotten about them. They were a couple now. They seemed in love.

Fools.

What use was it to fall in love now? They would never be happy. Their pureblood society was dissolving around them.

Those lineages of theirs were infected by putrid, repulsive beliefs. Love was condemned for them.

For him.

"Well, what about Draco? Is there someone…?"

"Oh no! He wants to concentrate on work now. Make some money, a name for himself and then settle down."

"Of course. He was always a sensible boy."

He sniggered unintentionally. Was his mother lying or did she actually believe what she was saying, he wondered.

Concentrate on work? Make a name for himself? _Seriously? _

But he didn't even have a job. He just helped with his father's business. He was given an office where he sat half of the day pretending he was working, just to excuse the money he got at the end of every month.

No effort did he make. No intention did he have to succeed. No possibility either.

It was a rotting world after all, the world he was living in.

He had no illusions for the future.

Contrary to Blaize and Daphne he didn't fancy kidding himself with dreams of happiness.

The future forecast for his breed was one.

There was no future.

They got mixed up with the wrong man. Scarred their wrists with snake figures to prove their foolishness and –was it really a surprise?- they had fallen together with him.

Lord Voldemort.

Once he shivered just thinking of him.

And he was not ashamed to admit that, had he still been alive, he would still shiver.

He was a coward after all, something he had proved repeatedly during the War.

He had accepted his character by now.

No one else seemed willing to do so, but _he_ had.

He was a coward. Arrogant, bad-tempered, only mildly clever, an egoist. He wanted everyone to think he was faultless. He hated being emotional. He cared only for three people on earth.

One of them was himself.

He had no real talent in, well, anything. He was not a dreamer.

But above everything else, he was a coward.

And that infuriated him immensely.

Because, he had not joined the Dark Lord for fame or power or because he just fancied hurting people. He had done it cause he was afraid.

How pathetic a reason!

"How about _your_ son Olivia? And your younger daughter? I mean I see Daphne here but I haven't seen those two for some time."

"Elliot is fine. Of course you know how he broke my heart when he announced he was not taking over his father's business. Wanted to play Quidditch, he said and we had to compromise. Tori hasn't done much either but we never had high expectations for her anyway."

"I heard Elliot is quite good Chaser so you should be proud. As for Tori, well she's still young. She'll mature before you know it."

More lies, Draco told himself.

Again people re-assuring each other all was well. It wasn't.

Not really.

Powerful families, pure blood, every wish granted for those kids.

Wasted time.

Efforts in vain.

The future was grim.

Daphne and Blaize would not be happy for long.

Elliot was not such a talented Chaser.

Tori would not mature.

And_ he_ would definitely not settle down or make a name for himself.

"Yet, I haven't seen them this evening."

"Yes, it is true. Only Daphne and I came with Elias today. Elliot said he had practice and he would try to come here afterwards. Tori was being an infant again, refusing to wear a ballroom dress, so I told her she'd better stay at home."

The blonde took a glimpse of the two middle-aged women nodding synchronized and decided it was safer to keep his distance form them.

He'd hate it to be dragged into their conversation.

He retreated to a dark corner and took a look at the room. A spacious lounge, skillfully decorated with all sorts of unique stuff. Full of rotten people.

It made him sick.

So why didn't he escape?

Why didn't he announce he always dreamt of becoming a dragon breeder and move to Romania?

Why didn't he lie and leave?

Easy question. Simple answer.

He was a coward.

The thought of breaking free scared him. He'd rather stay and rot in that cage.

Suddenly an ear-piercing sound awakened him from his thoughts and made him –even against his own will- look up.

To Draco's rusty from inutility eyes that sight was a breakthrough. For the past two years he had been numbed. He saw but didn't really notice anything. Nothing was worth noticing.

Till that moment.

That moment it seemed to him that the Heavens had opened and it was raining miracles.

First the main door opened widely. Both panels flew forwards and a strange breeze entered the room. The breeze hit Draco on the face, messing his blond hair, practically compelling him to take a deep breath. _Fresh air_.

And together with it a man on a broom.

The man flew fast a few feet above the wooden floor knocking down two waiters in the process. He made a couple of circles above people's heads, rendering them speechless.

Then he landed with grace on top of the buffet. His foot was right inside the pudding and everyone was gaping at him.

"Elliot? Is that you?" The woman Draco knew was Olivia Greengrass bellowed at the young flyer.

_Elliot Greengrass?_ He questioned perplexed.

True enough it was a young boy, about two years younger than him that stood proudly on the buffet.

He had jet black hair and -if Draco was not mistaken- blue eyes, though it was hard to tell since he was wearing a pair of brown goggles. He wasn't particularly tall. He had childlike looks and very delicate characteristics that made him appear rather feminine, but that was probably because he was not yet nineteen.

He was a boy both in body and heart. And he was happy. Free.

Draco was amazed.

"Yes, mother, it is me." His voice was that of a child too.

"Come down here Elliot!" The woman hissed pointing the floor.

The boy, Elliot, complied but showed no sign of defeat.

He _agreed_ on his own free will to come down from the large table, he did not obey.

Draco took a step towards the boy but regretted it.

Could it be possible that that boy who was just out of Hogwarts had managed to break free from that world?

It sounded surreal to the blonde.

But even if it was true it didn't matter.

What business did he have with that boy? He, the coward, the snake-scarred, the rotten…

He tried to return to his champagne. His life.

He could hear Mrs Greengrass scolding her son from afar but pushed the sound away.

He just had to relax and return to his sulking. Piece of cake for a cold, emotionless person like him.

_So where was I…?_

"Hey!" Draco almost jumped up startled. It was him. Elliot. Holding a butterbeer which was impossible for him to drink wearing those goggles.

"Hrmph." The blonde growled unpleasantly.

"Wow, man, take it easy!" The boy said raising both his hands over his head in mock surrender, spilling some butterbeer on the floor.

"Can I help you?" Draco did not appreciate the carefree ways of the Chaser.

"Absolutely not! Besides, why would I need any help? It's a party right?" The boy's dead-serious expression made the situation even funnier.

"Then why are you talking to me?" _In other words I do not want to talk to you, so sod off._

"Well, it was either you or Blaize. And Blaize is currently snogging my sister so…yeah." That boy had no trouble speaking his mind, Draco gathered.

"You should have gone to Blaize." He spat.

"And miss on such a cheerful lad? No way." Elliot joked good-naturedly. His companion though was never one to appreciate humor.

"Irony won't help your case." It was clever, curt and consistent, thought the blonde.

"And grumpiness won't help yours." The young boy shot back unfazed. Well, it was bound to be hard to unsettle a person who _flew _inside a cocktail party anyway.

"Nice comeback. Too bad I am not interested in conversing with you." Draco was getting irritated quickly. He had wished to meet with the boy at first. True.

But after all it was a stupid impulse.

People like him needed peace and space to sulk satisfyingly.

Boys like Elliot needed a happy person to fly to parties with them.

Compatibility meter was close to zero.

"Draco Malfoy, am I right?" Elliot asked paying no attention to the blonde's previous words.

He didn't bother to properly reply. He just nodded.

"Elliot Greengrass. I've heard tons about you." The boy went on as if he was in a trance.

"You were a Death Eater right? Have you ever killed anyone? Did you know Voldemort? Was he as ugly as they describe him? Did they send you to Azkaban after the War?" A million questions flew from the black-haired boy's mouth at the speed of light.

Draco just blinked. Annoyed.

"Yes, no, yes, I have no idea how they describe him and no." He said a boring look gracing his pale face.

He took another sip from his champagne as Elliot's mouth formed an 'O'.

Then the boy came closer to him with a sneaky look and whispered.

"Are you evil?"

The other was not sure if he was supposed to laugh or seriously reply. What a pain that boy was!

"If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." He whispered back with a well-prepared smirk.

"I'll take that as a yes." Elliot muttered.

"So what's your secret?" The Chaser fired yet another question.

_Secret?_ Had he really any secrets? Draco didn't think so.

Surely he didn't mouth every thought he made. Au contraire…

But real secrets?

"I have no secrets." He simply replied looking away.

"Unacceptable!" Elliot protested with anger rather unjustifiable. He looked as if he was trying to protect the blonde's honor or something.

"Sorry to disappoint." He mocked.

"Look, I'll make you a deal." Begun the boy. "I will tell you one of my secrets." He paused dramatically. "As long as you agree to come with me to Diagon Alley tomorrow at five in the evening."

Draco just stared at him for a moment. He was trying to figure out what part of that deal was in fact beneficial for him but could not come up with an answer.

Maybe it was enough to satisfy that little curiosity that he was feeling. Maybe not.

"Fine." He blurted out and regretted it the moment the words came out of him mouth.

"Cool! I always wanted to meet someone who actually lived the War from the inside. My old man didn't even let me go to school that year." He sounded disappointed.

Draco sighed. Yet another fool.

He recognized his kind. There were many out there.

People who met him at pubs and asked him if he was planning on killing Harry Potter any time next week.

He was disgusted by their stupidity and morbid curiosity.

'He'll be dead before the 15th.' He usually replied to them and sat back to enjoy their terrified looks.

So after all that was Elliot Greengrass. The enthusiasm Draco had felt upon seeing him for the first time was beginning to fade.

He hadn't broken free either. He was just too stupid to realize he was caged.

"You look grimmer than before. If that is actually possible." The younger of the two pointed out casually.

"So?" The twenty-year-old felt strained. He hadn't had such a long conversation with a human for a very long time.

"Why are you like that?" Elliot clearly asked with a scrutinizing glance that didn't really match with his fooling-around attitude.

"What? You mean grim? Well, why aren't _you_?" Draco asked slightly curious as to what the answer would be.

"I have better things to do." Said Elliot after a minute's pause.

"Like talking to me? Nice thinking there. But anyway, good for you. I , on the other hand have nothing better to do than this." The blonde hurried to explain hoping that this wave of information would keep the black-haired boy silent for a while.

It didn't.

"You have tomorrow at six." He stated and then disappeared as suddenly and unexpectedly as he had appeared.

_Apparated?_ Draco blinked confused.

_But he hasn't yet told me the secret!_ He whined and upon realizing he was doing so he cursed himself bad.

Then a new thought crossed his mind.

_He said Diagon Alley at five__ but didn't say where._ That boy was possibly the most disturbed person he had ever met. And he wasn't intrigued by his personality either.

He was annoyed. And flustered. And pissed. And everything that had a meaning similar to annoyed.

He was furious.

Bloody parties. Bloody parents. Bloody façade.

He took another sip from his champagne.

Rotten world.

**A/N: I hope you liked it. **

**Next chapter will be up soon **

**Reviews make the writer type faster…**

**So tell me what you think!**

**Kisses **

**Sarah**


	2. Freezing Puppies, Grim Past

**A/N: Ok, well thanks a lot for the reviews and for reading (course!)**

**I really appreciate it and I do hope everyone is nice enough to let me know if they like this or not**

**So, I know this is a Draco/Astoria but Astoria ****hasn't**** shown up yet ****but she will soon ****(chapter 3 to be precise)**

**Be patient (pretty please??)**

**I do not own Harry Potter **

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter ****2: Freezing Puppies, Grim Past**

He tapped the bricks on the wall at the back of The Leaky Cauldron, annoyed.

He wasn't going to meet the foolish boy. Of course not!

Draco had decided he didn't need insanity in his life.

And that boy meant insanity. And trouble.

He took a step back. And then a step forward, entering Diagon Alley.

But not in order to meet Elliot.

He was just taking a walk. He assured himself.

It was November and the cold was becoming noticeable. He felt a chill run down his spine. He should have taken a coat, he knew.

However his father would never forgive him did he choose to appear in Diagon Alley of all places in such a common muggles' attire.

His black velvet suit with the subtle silvery designs was the right choice. Besides, it fitted perfectly with his black dragon hide boots.

Draco was not one to spend hours in front of a mirror. Yet he knew better than go out dressed like…

His train of thought was abruptly interrupted.

He took a breath in, absorbing courage.

Right there in front of him was an eighteen-year-old, black-haired boy wearing a pair of faded jeans, a Chudley Cannons over-sized sweatshirt and sneakers.

But Draco knew better than to dress like that.

"Hey!" Chirped Elliot and the blonde shot him a surprised look.

"What? Are you stalking me now?" Said Draco with raised eyebrows. He knew the boy would be waiting for him somewhere in Diagon Alley but skulking in the entrance of the street he did not expect.

"No! No… I just realized I hadn't said where to meet so I came early and waited for you here." _So careless and yet when I would most appreciate him to be that way he turns thoughtful. _

"What do you mean by 'early'?" The blonde looked at his watch. Seven o'clock. They were supposed to meet at five so that meant…

"I've been here since four." Elliot's voice was plain and carefree. Almost as if he hadn't spent three hours in the cold winter wind. Almost.

Idiot.

_What is he trying to prove by freezing his arse off?_Draco didn't get it. That boy was like a puppy. It found an owner and then followed him everywhere perfectly obedient and selfless.

But he was sick of puppies. He had two during school. Well, more like bulldogs, but still. He knew the feeling.

He was sick of it.

The only reason he hadn't told his former dogs to go jump off a cliff was because, odds were, they would have done it.

He felt lucky he was rid of them now. Goyle had moved to Spain after the War and Crabbe had now been working under Filch in Hogwarts.

Under Filch! Oh the drollness of it all!

They had not bothered to owl him. Neither of them.

He hadn't minded. He wouldn't have replied anyway.

They had spent seven years together and on some occasions they had assisted each other.

But had they really been friends?

He didn't think so.

Was he really useless for not having any decent friends throughout his life?

Probably.

"You're an idiot." Draco hissed under his breath. "I wasn't going to meet you anyway." He added.

The boy stared at him with wide blue eyes. Shocked. Sad?

"But you agreed…" He mumbled in his childlike manner. The blonde scoffed.

"You should know better than take my word for anything." He replied indifferently.

_He should know better…_ He told himself.

Everyone else knew better than trust the infamous Draco Malfoy. Why didn't _he_?

"I'll try to remember that." The eighteen-year-old boy recovered alarmingly fast.

"But since you didn't come here for me, then why are you here?" Now it was the blonde's turn to be shocked.

Why was he there…?

Good question.

He was sure he had something in his mind when he apparated to the Leaky Cauldron's courtyard. But what was it?

He racked his brains but found no explanation. It was like his feet had led him there against his will.

"Well…?" Elliot eyed him expectantly.

Draco had to think fast. An excuse! Anything.

Why would he go to Diagon Alley?

What had he bought the last time he went there?

When was the last time he went there to shop?

Terrified he realized it had been two years since he last went shopping in Diagon Alley.

Surely he frequently walked past the street to reach Knockturn Alley where his father's office was. And most Saturdays he returned home that way after getting wasted in the Leaky Cauldron. But it had been almost two years since he last went shopping there.

To buy a new broom. And a new copy of 'Hogwarts: A History'. And some quills. For school.

"I needed some quills." He hurried to explain.

"Great! I know the perfect place!" _Wait! Wait. What?_ The blonde could not believe his ears.

"Come on then! Follow me." Said the boy and Draco was just too flabbergasted to refuse. Or speak for that matter.

They both walked fast towards what seemed like an old quill shop. People were staring.

_Well, of course they are. _Thought the blonde. They must have been a peculiar sight, the two of them.

One dressed like a twelve-year old, with sweatshirts and sneakers and the other with the most expensive clothes Madam Malkin had.

One carelessly running, the other nonchalantly walking a few feet behind.

One speaking loudly, the other hissing curses.

A funny sight.

"Here we are." Elliot's voice woke him up from his slumber. He looked up managing to miss the shop window by inches.

"Damn!" He cursed some more but entered the shop anyway.

He picked up a couple of quills, the best he could find and rushed to the counter.

The sooner he was done 'shopping' the sooner he'd be able to leave.

Return to his luxurious, rotting world. His golden cage. Away from staring people, away from Diagon Alley, away from weirdoes like Elliot Greengrass.

"Let's go grab a butterbeer in Leaky Cauldron." The boy instructed more than suggested.

"I have to go. I'm in a hurry. Later." Draco spat terrified at the prospective of spending the evening with the boy. Then he turned to leave.

"Liar." Cold, cruel voice. He froze to the spot, shocked.

_Liar__?_ Since when did that boy speak like that? Was he not just a cheerful puppy? Wasn't he just singing and joking a moment ago?

What had happened?

The twenty-year-old guy was genuinely troubled.

A first.

He slowly turned his body as to face the boy.

Grey eyes, almost black. A storm in them.

Then blue eyes.

Like the wide open ocean. Endless, bottomless.

Hateful. Eyebrows furrowed.

_Why?_

Draco had hurt people in his life. Muggleborns, traitors, students, teachers. A Headmaster.

But, as far as he could remember, he had never harmed Elliot Greengrass.

"What?" Was all the blonde was capable of mouthing.

"You heard me. Liar." He had said it twice and Draco felt like he was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest.

_Why?_

Had he not heard worse before?

'Traitor! You should have died with your Lord.'

'I wonder why they have allowed you to stay out of Azkaban. I do, I really do!'

'Bastard, if I could I would have sucked all the pure blood out of your veins.'

'You deserve to die. Rot in hell.'

Yes, he had heard worse.

And he hadn't minded. Much.

Why now? Was this really the final blow he was waiting for in order to crawl down and die?

_Drama Queen_. He scolded himself.

He looked down, clenching his fists, trembling like a little wounded animal. Scared, shameful. _Coward._

His blonde hair covered his eyes. They had grown longer during the past year.

The boy must have been quite shocked to see him react that way. After all he just called him a liar. Not a traitor, not a criminal, not a murderer.

Then again it was such the manner that he'd said it that it could have easily been mistaken for a 'you should have been dead' comment.

"Why?" Draco mumbled. He hated mumbling. It made him look helpless. But he could not stop himself.

He was feeling weak. Just because a kid had called him a liar he was tearing apart.

_WHY?_

Perhaps because he hadn't expected it. He had known such comments would come from others. Many people despised him. He knew.

With good reason.

However that kid had shown a different attitude. He had been civil. On his own accord too.

He had bloody asked him to go for a butterbeer!

And then 'bam'. The usual pattern. Hateful glances, curses, hexes.

Like a ghost his past was following him. Never leaving him.

The grim past. Towering over him.

Till the end?

Obviously.

Now Elliot was going to tell him he did not associate with Death Eaters. That he had been foolish to talk to him in the first place. That he should have died in the War. That it would have been better that way.

"You're a liar because you said we would go to grab a beer yesterday but now you're just making up excuses to escape." Elliot's voice was calmer now and it lacked in venom. The blonde frowned, confused.

_Was that all?_ Was it possible that this was the only reason that boy was mad at him?

He tore his eyes from the ground to stare at the young boy in front of him.

He seemed sincere.

But a moment earlier he had been hateful. What was the matter?

Draco sighed.

"Ten minutes." He declared. Elliot jumped on the spot.

"Yes!" _Is this boy even allowed to drink alcohol?_ The blonde asked himself.

They walked together to the Leaky Cauldron and as soon as they were about to enter Draco put a hand to the door, preventing he black-haired boy from entering.

"Let's just clear one thing first, though, ok?" He begun.

"I am not gay. So in case this whole 'drink a beer' deal is your way of hitting on me then you'd better forget it." He said seriously.

He was feeling a bit uncomfortable for speaking that way but it was true that, that kid had some rather feminine characteristics. Plus he sang as he walked.

Elliot just chuckled.

"No worries. You're not my type." The boy explained effortlessly. Like he did that a lot. Yet upon noticing Draco's widened eyes he corrected.

"I mean, I'm not gay either. Don't be so quick to draw conclusions about people."

There was still a long way till Draco would be sure of this but he decided to comply.

Warmth was the first thing that the blonde came across when he opened the door of the pub.

Hot, thick atmosphere, smoke everywhere that made breathing rather hard.

He was used to it.

He almost liked it.

And to prove this, the moment the two of them sat on an old wooden table he took out a lighter and a cigarette.

"A firewhiskey." He called after the waitress.

"And a butterbeer." Elliot added never drifting his gaze from the cigarette on the blonde's mouth.

"You smoke?" He finally asked after a few moments of silence.

"What does it look like to you?" Draco replied indifferent. All shock from before dissolving like the smoke of his cigarette.

"You're damaging your health." The boy stated angrily.

_Why does__ he even care if I do?_

"My health has survived a war. I doubt it that a cigarette can destroy it." He countered.

"You're gonna die young." Elliot said stubbornly. The other laughed and eerie laugh.

"Exactly." His cold voice sounded muffled from between chuckles.

"You _want_ to die?" At this Draco stopped laughing. They young boy was beginning to speak seriously and he didn't like it. 

"Now, now no need to ruin the fun by talking about depressing stuff like death." He smirked charmingly, as if saying 'stop being so nosey'.

"You can't talk about death? And here I thought you had quite some experience in the area." Elliot was now leaning closer, eyes curious.

_Again with curiosity. _

Thirst to learn about what he had seen during the War. What terrible crimes he had committed. Half of the people detested him for them and half wanted to know all about it.

He couldn't decide what was worse.

'Are you planning to kill Harry Potter?'

Familiar words appeared in his mind.

'He'll be dead before the 15th.'

He knew his lines well.

The joke everyone fell for.

"Do you really wish to know?" Draco whispered back. If the boy wanted a show he would have one.

No problem. No big deal.

"I- I … ok, fine, yes I do." Most people loose their cool when he agrees to speak. Elliot was not an exception.

"Well, I have indeed seen death. All kinds of death. People cursed to death, people driven to death by insanity, people eaten alive by a huge snake." He wasn't lying. He wasn't telling the whole truth either.

"But you know what was even worse than death?" He stopped to observe the boy's wide blue eyes. Filled with fear and wonder.

"What?" Elliot breathed.

"Torture." The blonde simply replied, allowing a long forgotten passion to return to his eyes.

"Torture?" The boy gasped.

"That's right." Draco scanned the dim lit room with his eyes, the half-drunk customers, the evil-looking bartender, the foggy atmosphere.

"You see a different side of people when they are tortured. A side you've never seen. You see women cursing, men tearing their flesh apart. Screaming, begging, laughing even. Dark evil laughter." He paused. He thought he had taken it a bit too far.

He didn't want the kid to have nightmares because of him.

_Nightmares. _

Yeah, the things he'd seen, that's what they were to normal people.

How could his mother ever expect him to settle down and have a family when he had seen all those things?

When he had been part of all this torture.

"Go on." The black-haired Chaser was encouraging him to continue. Unexpected.

To say the least.

"I remember clearly that one time, at my house." Draco thought of it a bit. Was it worth mentioning? He wasn't sure.

"Grayback, the werewolf, had captured some very important prisoners." He avoided mentioning the well-known names.

"One of them was a muggleborn and I was with my mother and Aunt Bella, you know her as Bellatrix I suppose. So Aunt Bella needed some information from the girl and what other way was there than using the Cruciatus curse on her?" The blonde had a blank look on his face while speaking. He remembered though clearly what had happened that day.

_Clearly. _

Never had he told that story to anyone.

Instead, he had spent two years trying to forget that day. And trying and trying and trying.

And failing. Terribly.

"The first time Aunt Bella cursed her, the girl bravely remained silent and bore with it. The second she just spat blood at my Aunt's face. The sixth, she was on the floor screaming." His voice was no louder than a whisper now.

He could see it, hear it. He could see Granger begging, Bellatrix sending orders here and there, Greyback licking his lips greedily staring at the girl. Weasley's screams from the cellar, calling her name.

They were getting married, he had heard. Took them long enough.

Granger's blood, spilling on the floor… His Aunt's words 'And now, we can call the Dark Lord.' … His trembling hands, casting spells, trying to stop Weasley and Potter from escaping.

Did he really want them to die? That question had been plugging his mind together with memories.

_No._ He was telling himself. He despised them, but not enough to wish their death. Let alone cause it.

Yet he had attacked them on numerous occasions.

Following the Dark Lord's bidding.

_Coward. _

"That girl…" Elliot's childlike voice was like a bell suddenly echoing in his head. Making the memories retreat at the back of his skull.

"She was your age." The blonde added.

"Did she die?" The boy appeared reluctant to ask. But he did so anyway.

"No." Draco shook his head dismissively.

"Did you save her?" That question alarmed him. How could that kid be asking such a question? And with those expectant eyes too.

Did he really expect him to say yes?

Did he really look like the kind of person who would have saved her?

For a second a twisted idea crawled up his mind.

Maybe he should say he saved the girl. That would impress his little puppy.

He could lie and obtain a new friend.

No. Correction.

A new follower.

He could make the boy do all sorts of things for him. Introduce him to people in his Quidditch team , let him make some worthy connections.

Re-create his image as a powerful man.

Make a name.

'He wants to concentrate on work now. Make some money, a name for himself and then settle down.'

His mother's words from yesterday.

Bullshit.

Too late for that.

His past was too grim.

Lies and frauds, he had no strength or appetite for them anymore. He was not denying his old self. Yet he had seen too many things.

Too many things to return to lies and frauds and followers.

"No. I didn't do anything of the sort. Her boyfriend saved her. I was trying to stop them." He spoke slowly, counting every word. Watched as the light in the boy's eyes went out.

_Bingo._

"Did you enjoy hurting them?" Elliot inquired.

"No. But does it really matter? I did it anyway did I not? If you're gonna start finding excuses for me like my mother then I should better warn you. There aren't any." Draco was determined to show no regrets to the kid. He had called him a liar. Now he would prove he wasn't one.

"So they were right?" The black-haired boy was unnaturally pale.

"They were, weren't they?" Now Elliot wasn't even talking to the blonde. It seemed like he was speaking to himself.

"Excuse me?" Draco thought it was a good time to interrupt the inner dialogue.

"They were right when they said you are a heartless, self-centered jerk." Elliot's eyes were like knifes. Aimed and hit.

_To kill._

"Spot on." Assured the blonde. He saw no point in explaining. Explain what?

People weren't lying. They were just not exactly correct.

He wasn't evil. Per se.

He was...

"Only they forgot to add, I'm a coward as well." _A coward._

Suddenly he felt tired. Exhausted. Drained of all power.

He hadn't spoken that much about the War in… ever.

Everyone he could have talked to about it, already knew and the rest didn't care to ask.

_It was interesting to make someone who doesn't know everything about my past hate me. _Draco gathered.

But he had had enough.

It was time to go.

Ten minutes had long passed.

He finished his firewhiskey with one sip and stood up gracefully.

Luckily he had no coat to wear so he just headed to the door, opened it and Apparated to the Manor.

He changed from his clothes into a shirt and a pair of pants and lay on his bed, sleepless.

He had just confessed his worst deeds to an eighteen-year-old boy who thought the three 'Unforgivables' were drinking, cheating and smoking.

Perfect.

Now he was going to tell his parents and…

Draco's mind snapped at him suddenly.

_And what?_ The Greengraases' know what Malfoys are. It's all part of the silent agreement to never talk about it.

So no harm done.

Just another person who hated his guts.

Join the club.

He smirked.

At least the kid wouldn't bother him anymore.

Good riddance.

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**Now press the little button down there… and review!!!**

**Hugs and Kisses**

**Sarah**


	3. Delusional Kid, Nasty Business

**A/N: Hello once again.**

**I am very glad that I actually receive reviews from you**

**However I wish there were more**

**I mean it only takes a second right?**

**Also I have been told that there was a problem with reviews in chapter 2 **

**So I'd like to ask if someone hasn't been able to review **

**Anyway, **

**I don't own Harry Potter**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3: Delusional Kid , Nasty Business**

He ran a terrified look across his room, desperate.

The broom! Where was it?

He hadn't used it for over a year. Only to be expected that he'd had a hard time finding it.

He looked under his big wooden bed, in the closet, behind the desk. Finally he found it next to his old trunk. Abandoned in some dark corner of the room.

He opened his bedroom window, mounted it and flied away.

_Free.__ At last._

The past two weeks had been a mess.

And had Draco been a little less proud he would have agreed with his father's statement from a week ago:

He had brought this upon himself.

_Damn right._ He had shouted to his father. _Cause it was my fault this crazy dude has suddenly decided to become my friend and is stalking me everywhere. _

He could have refused to talk to the boy in the first place. His father had remarked dryly.

Bullshit. What kind of person would do that?

His father obviously.

That man was downright idiotic sometimes.

It took the blonde twenty years and lots of scars to realize it but he had finally got there.

Draco pushed his broom downwards through some trees, slowly landing in the nearby forest.

Then he realized his suit was a bit stained.

Mud up his left sleeve.

_Thanks a lot forest! _He thought addressing to the woods.

That's what you get for putting an Apparition barrier around your house.

After the momentary irritation had passed Draco sighed deeply.

He had escaped.

Elliot had been following him everywhere since that day in Diagon Alley.

He had been owling him, leaving messages to his mother, and to the blonde's dismay, visiting quite frequently.

The reason behind this stalking, no one knew.

Had they parted in good terms it would have made sense.

Had they fought Draco would understand it.

But none of the above had occurred.

The blonde had just… left.

Run away. Better yet.

And the young boy had more or less declared he hated him.

So why…?

With a 'pop' he apparated to his office.

Some days he enjoyed walking to his father's business headquarters.

He liked going by Knockturn Alley.

Dirty, seedy way. Dark, day and night. With a smell that reminded him of rotten food and burning flesh.

No one with a conscience walked by that street. And everyone knew better than enter there unarmed.

A dark wizard's playground.

Half of the people there had been at least once in Azkaban.

The other half was to follow soon.

Most of the days he preferred to walk to his job.

Today he apparated.

He sat on his black leather chair and inspected his desk.

Books, catalogues, lists, letters.

Piles of them.

Illegal contracts. Fake names. Stolen money. The usual fraud.

Nasty business.

Some times he was happy to be part of all this.

They were making money again. He saw that. His father's fortune was soon to be restored.

He somewhat enjoyed the manner of the business too.

Using other people. Deceiving them.

_Oh the joy!_

Most of the time he sported himself with such activities.

Not that time.

At that moment all he wanted to do was set his desk on fire and sit back watching the illegal papers become ash.

Burn the whole room. The whole business.

The whole bloody street.

_Oh the joy!_

He smirked just by thinking about it.

"Draco!" His father's voice.

Always ruining his fun.

"Yes?" He thought it was better to reply and be done with that conversation as soon as possible.

"There's someone here for you." An older version of himself said from the doorframe.

Draco stood up from his chair.

_Someone here for me?_ Was his father in the mood for a joke? He wondered.

It wasn't his job to attend customers.

His father was cleverer than put a cold man like him in customer service.

But soon he realized this had nothing to do with customer service.

His father slightly displeased –though wasn't he always that way? - moved aside.

To give his place to a familiar face.

Jet black hair, ocean blue eyes. Shining.

_Holy…_His sentence was cut off by a wide smile.

"Finally!" Said a delighted Elliot.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." The boy seemed unfazed. As usual.

The blonde felt a pinch of annoyance. Shouldn't Elliot be angry and hateful?

That's how he had been the last time he had seen him.

'They were right when they said you are a heartless, self-centered jerk.' Were the last words he had heard coming out of his mouth.

_So what now?_

"What do you want?" Draco growled, frustrated. The boy just shrugged in his playful manner.

"You didn't return _any_ of my letters. By the way it's really rude to not reply to people's letters. So I asked your mother where I could find you and she said here." Explanation flied effortlessly out of the Chaser's lips.

Like all was good.

Like they were two ten-year-olds and he had missed a cops and robbers game.

Like they were friends.

_Delusional kid._

"I work here. It's not a bloody playground. So…" For reasons unknown even to himself Draco paused a bit before adding.

"Get the _hell_ out." His voice was no longer irritated.

It was hostile.

He liked that voice. Left no openings for friendliness.

Draco looked outside the window at the mysterious passengers.

He refused to look at the kid.

Most likely it would have this puppy-like look on his face.

Deceitful look.

Silence prevailed for a long time. So much that , before turning back towards the office, Draco was certain the kid had left.

_Guess again._

Elliot had not left.

Actually he hadn't taken one step back since the last time Draco had seen him.

He just stood there. Hands in his pockets. Face down.

"I'm sorry." The black-haired boy murmured.

It had surely been sometime since Draco had opened his eyes so wide.

"I'm sorry I acted like a prat last time we met. I'm sorry I called you a liar. And I'm sorry that at the moment I said it, I wasn't really thinking about the fact that you had stood me up but rather the bad things my mother had told me about you." Elliot took a deep breath in.

"Also I think I should apologize for calling you a 'heartless, self-centered jerk'. That was uncalled for. And I'm sorry for scolding you about smoking. That was none of my business…" The boy's apology was interrupted by a loud laughter.

Draco had never laughed like that in his life.

Why conceal it?

Never had he experienced such a situation, where a young kid was apologizing his heart out to him for calling him a jerk.

Apologizing to him. Of all people.

To him who had tortured, hurt, almost killed lots of people.

To him who had conspired against Albus Dumbledore. Against Harry Potter.

'Sorry for scolding you…'

How could he not laugh?

Yet between chuckles he felt satisfied.

After all he had been mad at the kid for his behavior.

Were Death Eaters supposed to be angry at young boys for being called 'heartless self-centered jerks'?

Probably not.

He had been mad anyway.

And now he was laughing.

"Hey! Stop laughing. I'm being serious here." Elliot protested mildly. Yet he seemed somewhat glad at the blonde's reaction. Or so the latter thought.

"I know you are. That's why I'm laughing." Draco said honestly.

"Does that mean I'm forgiven?" The black-haired boy tried, rolling his eyes.

"There was hardly anything to forgive. I hear much worse every day." He admitted, remembering the glares and the curses people he had never seen before sent his way.

"That doesn't make it any less rude. So, do you reckon we can get out of this place? It does look horrible." Elliot said, suddenly interested in the room around him.

"Don't push your case." Warned the blonde.

He could not have that boy mistaking his tolerance for actual liking.

"I'm sorry but this job of yours looks downright depressing." The boy pointed Draco desk with dismay.

"And what's wrong with this place? Knockturn Alley? Seriously? Were you in fact _trying _to find a dreadful place or did the universe conspire against you?" The exasperated look on the boy's face made Draco half-smile in amusement.

That boy had a bad side to him.

He knew that by now.

He seemed cheery and happy and innocent, but –for all intents and purposes- had a rather poisonous mouth.

He appreciated that.

It entertained him.

Nothing more.

"We were trying." He said seriously, smirk lurking at the back of his head.

Elliot sighed.

"Fine then, how about a cup of coffee after you're done deceiving unsuspecting people?" That brought the blonde's entertainment to a halt.

Times like that he just wondered.

_How much exactly does that kid know about me?_

Elliot knew about the frauds and fake contracts.

From his family obviously.

Did he mind?

Probably.

The way Draco saw it the boy had a million of reasons to despise him.

A million and one now.

And counting.

He fought to snap out of his thoughts and speak.

"Oh, no! I'm not grabbing coffee with you or butterbeer or whatever."

"Why not?" The black-haired boy pouted.

"We had made a deal remember? I would go out for drinks with you and you would tell me a secret." He stated determined.

"Well, I'm still waiting for the secret." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. He wasn't mad anymore.

Yet tormenting Elliot was…

How to put it?

Entertaining.

"Good point." The boy said thoughtful and looked straight in the blonde's eyes.

As if asking for permission.

_Or something._

"Well, I'm waiting." The blonde began patting his foot on the floor. Arrogantly. Like a little kid.

Then…

He…

Stopped.

No word came out of Elliot's mouth.

After all, Draco wasn't supposed to hear this secret.

He was supposed to see it.

Elliot's black hair suddenly began growing. Longer and longer.

Till they reached his back.

His body shrunk some inches. It changed in shape.

It became smaller and more feminine.

It had nice curves most of the girls he used to date back in school would envy.

And… certain body parts in the front were starting to grow bigger.

Then on top of it all the facial characteristics were altered.

The strong jaw line had turned into a more delicate form. The cheekbones were more prominent, the eyebrows thinner and the complexion clearer.

All was different on that… person. 'Boy' could no longer apply.

All except for the eyes.

That… person's eyes were exactly the same as before.

Ocean blue eyes…bottomless.

A… _girl's_ eyes?

Could it be?

"Who _are_ you?" He hissed scandalized.

His eyes seemed ready to pop out of their sockets.

The cheerful boy had turned into a… girl?

A good looking girl.

A delicate girl.

_An unknown girl._ He reminded himself.

"Bugger… Now I have to apologize for this too." _She_ pointed at her changed form.

It was a 'she' right?

"I'm sorry I lied to you. Truth is I'm not Elliot. I never was. He could not make it to your cocktail party so he begged me to transform and go as him. He's my twin by the way. I'm a Metamorphmagus." The girl blurted out looking just a little pink in her face.

"Tori?" Draco mumbled the name he had heard some times before.

"I am really terrible for concealing this for so long but I _was_ going to tell you that first time we met. But then I got carried away talking to you and forgot. And the second time we saw each other, in Diagon Alley, you just vanished before I could speak about it…So…" She seemed to be trying to fit all her excuses in one sentence. Worried.

_Is she really?_

Draco could not understand why that –hm- girl cared what he would think of her.

"I fucking asked you something so stop dancing around the question with stupid excuses!" He had not meant to snap. Or shout at her face like that.

Nor was he particularly mad.

Her excuses must have been working wonders on him.

Or her face.

Either way he was not angry enough to be so cruel.

Just surprised.

And ashamed.

It was one thing talking about your life with a dude and another to pour your heart out to a little girl.

Mostly ashamed.

"I have to go." Her face became even redder and she walked away.

Yet she did not manage to reach the door.

"What's your name?" His voice was different now. It wasn't hostile. Or mad. Or even curious.

It was benign. And kind.

Like it was his first time seeing her.

She didn't look at him.

"I don't like Tori. I always thought it's an owl's or a cat's name. Not a person's." Draco would have laughed at her manner had he not been stunned.

"I'm Astoria Greengrass."

And with a 'pop' she was gone.

Leaving him stranded in his nasty business.

**A/N: So here's your Astoria.**

**Liked that turn of events? Didn't like it? **

**Leave and review and tell me!**

**Kisses to all of you**

**Sarah**


	4. Waking Beast, Empty Reality

**A/N: Not sure if you'll enjoy this chapter**

**Anyway, here it is**

**I'd always wish for more reviews!!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4 : Waking Beast****, Empty Reality**

He stirred in his bed, sleepless. His dark green, silk covers muffled under his restless body.

One o'clock.

Half past one.

Quarter to two.

Two.

Five to three.

Bloody girl.

Why did he keep thinking of her?

Now of all times. That he had no reason to care. After she had lied to him it was only normal that he would hate her.

Malfoys did that.

Even if the person didn't deserve to be hated they hated the person anyway.

Just for the sake of it.

Yet his thoughts were not hateful towards her.

_Her…_

Draco still couldn't get used to the gender difference.

And it had been what?

Four days since he had found out?

He feared that if he had to talk about her he'd probably say something like 'that boy' and then curse himself for being so careless.

And he would most certainly begin mumbling and murmuring incomprehensible stuff, ridiculing himself.

Much like he was doing at the moment actually.

He took a look out of his bedroom's window.

_Nothing special about the sky tonight. _He noted.

Then again the sky never bore any certain significance to him.

He was not a romantic anyway.

Merlin forbid!

The only times he turned his head up were back during the War. To check for snake figures on the dark, cloudy ceiling.

Hold his breath before looking up and then sighing deeply if he only came across the starry sky.

Except for those times he saw more than he'd care to.

The times he only managed to look down from the horrid, snaky skull to face the striking pain on his wrist.

Pain and reality.

What a pair!

_Hell! Again with those memories. _Draco cursed inwards while dismay was written all over his face.

He looked away from his window and to his bedroom ceiling.

He liked the ceiling.

It was a boring gray colour that meant absolutely nothing.

That held no memories.

It was empty.

Much like him.

And he didn't mind.

Despite common belief.

He enjoyed emptiness. Lack of feelings and memories and actions.

Lack of life in general.

Two years back he dreaded the idea of passing away.

It sounded so terrifying. So terrifyingly final.

Back then he had done everything to stay alive.

Was he now reconsidering?

Big understatement.

Now, had death knocked his door he would have opened up at once.

He would have welcomed death.

Maybe even hand him a firewhiskey.

Cause now he had finally realized it. How much scarier reality was.

Death was empty.

Life was emptier.

For him.

For everyone around him.

_Sleep._ Draco ordered himself.

Pointless.

He hated it when he was being emotional and depressed.

Besides, he was incapable of suicide so all this was just talk.

Empty words.

_Shit!_

He stood up perfectly mad at the direction his thoughts were leading him.

He needed a distraction.

With narrowed eyes he scanned the room for something.

Anything that could take his mind off the stuff he was thinking of.

His gaze landed on a pile of letters. Practically all over his desk.

That girl's letters.

From back when she had called him a 'self-centred jerk'. In The Leaky Cauldron.

He sniggered.

In his twenty years, Draco had never received a single letter from someone other than his parents.

And now it seemed like all those letters no one had ever send him were owled to him in one week.

Some sort of compensation from the gods.

_No need._ He wished to tell them. _It's not like I asked for a friend._

_Besides what's the point of giving me one and then taking him back before I get to know him- agh- I mean, her._

He was severely disturbed, he gathered.

Talking to gods…

He took a few steps to the other end of his room and picked up some ten letters.

Then he sat on his bed. Indian style, wearing only a pair of pants.

'Lumos' He muttered.

He tore off the first envelope and read.

_Draco, _

_You don't mind me calling you that right? Well, I hope not. You probably don't wanna hear from me but I wrote to you anyway. I had to ask my mother to ask your mother for your address. I would have asked you but you just run away- I mean left unexpectedly yesterday. Well to the point, I'm sorry. For everything. _

_Hope to hear from you soon,_

_Elliot Greengrass_

The blonde finished the letter quickly.

Making a note to scold his mother for giving away their address without his permission.

And he put it on his bed taking up another one.

_Mr D. Malfoy,_

_I'm going back to last names in case the 'Draco' in my previous letter made you angry enough to not reply. I just wanted to apologize once again for my words. I was perfectly rude and you didn't deserve it. I mean, I suppose that if the girl you tortured spoke to you that way it would have made sense. But since I am not that girl and you never did anything bad to me, I have no right._

_Please reply!_

_E. __Greengrass_

Something stirred inside of Draco at the mention of torture.

Had he been ordered to, would he have tortured her as well as Granger?

Had he been faced with a small, raven-haired girl instead of Dumbledore would he have considered the Killing Curse?

His mind was trying to reject the thought. Refusing to produce an answer .

He insisted.

Forced himself to think of it.

Astoria lying on the floor screaming, begging for her torment to stop. Her ocean blue eyes filled with tears…

Just imagining it made his chest hurt. His lungs refusing to let the air go.

A trickle of sweat going down his forehead.

He wouldn't have _wanted _to torture her.

That was for sure.

_But_ had he been ordered to by the Dark Lord…

Had his life been at stake…

His parents' life…

He took a deep breath sweeping away the sweat from his face.

Had he been instructed to hurt her, whose life would he have risked?

His or Hers?

Never before had this question been a difficult one.

Unlike now.

And, bloody hell, he knew her for less than a month.

The whole situation made him dizzy.

And he felt regretful for asking himself such a tricky question.

_Dear Draco, _

_You keep refusing to reply me and I really don't see why. __I have apologized so many times I had to buy a new bottle of ink to keep writing. But I'm not giving up. Put that into this unforgiving mind of yours, will you? Besides that might mean I'll get to know you better. Or actually you'll get to know me better. Either way, that's not too bad now is it? Then again, I'm not so sure you'd care to know me. To you, who have seen so many things in your life, I must look like an ignorant little kid. Which I am, I suppose. Still, I can be a good friend. I promise you that._

_I should be off now,_

_Elliot_

Draco was beginning to find that blabbering of hers amusing.

_How surprising!_

Malfoys didn't like incessant talking.

They rarely accepted other people's blabbering.

Only if it concerned them and their achievements.

If the rest of the world had nothing good to say for them then he had _better_ stay silent.

Malfoys used to say.

Lately it had been _too_ quiet.

But Astoria did not fancy keeping her mouth shut.

Draco could tell.

She spoke and laughed and made such weird grimaces he swore, one day, her face would freeze that way.

Draco diverted his gaze from the letters on the paper he was holding.

He took one look at the darkness around him.

Everything was black and he could barely make out the shadows of his furniture formed by the moonlight.

All was covered by a dark veil that left no openings for light.

No openings.

Like this reality he was trapped in.

No happiness. No action. No chance to live.

A rotten man in a dying world.

_L__ife left no openings._

It hurt and pissed him immensely.

How he had been caged inside that empty darkness.

Empty reality.

Bloody Hell.

"Lumos Maxima!" He shouted aggravated by his own thoughts.

Uncommonly serious and deep.

Didn't suit him.

He wanted a change.

Quick and drastic.

Draco watched as a radiant light sprang from the tip of his wand.

It filled the whole room.

All was white, even himself.

No darkness left.

If his empty life was still out there he enjoyed not seeing it as he blended in with the light.

_She is__ much like a 'Lumos'. _It suddenly dawned on him.

Astoria Greengrass.

When he was with her he could escape from his rotten life.

She was like some sort of stimulant.

Her words woke him up.

Her presence kept him alarmed. Awake.

Her ocean blue eyes accompanied him in those sleep-devoid nights.

And he had been sleepless for sometime.

Somehow that white light made him realize the reason behind his insomnia.

_Her._

As simple as that.

She had flown in his empty reality. Destroyed a cocktail party in the process.

Never mind. No problem.

Point was…

She had woken up the beast.

_What a ridiculous way to put it!__ And yet…_

_How appropriate!_

And now it was too late to make it fall asleep.

The beast that was ambition.

Everything starts with a dream. Fools said.

_Wrong!_

Everything starts with ambition.

Ambition to make dreams and realize them.

But Draco hadn't had any ambition.

Better off without.

He had buried his foolish dreams three feet under.

During the War.

_Wars can do that__ to people. _He consoled himself for his cowardice.

Cowardice to keep ambition alive.

But now ambition had awoken.

The beast. He laughed at the chosen name.

Times like that, thoughts like this, made him appreciate the fact people could not read his mind.

They'd chuckle their eyes out if they knew _the_ Draco Malfoy used words like 'beast' to describe himself.

_Draco, _

_Listen cause I'll say this only once. Cut the crap! I'm sick of your attitude. And now I won't even try to assure you I would make a good friend. Cause I spoke with your mother Draco Malfoy. And you know what she said? She said, that you spent all your time alone drinking and smoking and being all… silent! Also she insists that you have no friends. Not even one! What is wrong with you? Well never mind that. It's settled. I'm officially your friend. I'm not even asking anymore. So get your arse off your high horse and write back so we can start being inseparable._

_Elliot_

Draco felt the ambition inside him roaring like a wild animal. He almost smiled.

Peculiar.

That girl just couldn't take no for an answer.

He decisively stood up.

His beastly –he chuckled- _Oh this is never getting old,_ ambition working wonders on him.

_Dear Astoria__, _

He wrote and the tossed the paper away.

He took a new one.

_Ms Greengrass,_

He threw that paper away as well.

What was the point of being formal anyway?

_Astoria, _

He was not sure first-name basis was the right way to go about things. But he complied.

_I write just to let you know that I have received all your letters. In fact my desk is full of them. So I would like to ask you to stop writing to me. I was expecting that my long silence would be proof enough that I am not interested in you…_

He crossed off the last sentence.

He'd hate it to give off the wrong impression.

…_proof enough that I am not interested to be your friend. The reason I spent all this time on my own is that I do not like other people very much. I do not like you either. So having you lying to me so shamelessly about your gender was, I assure you, the tip of the iceberg. _

_Leave me alone,_

_D. Malfoy_

He finished off and inspected his work.

He found it satisfying.

Hateful and strict.

Exactly what he needed to have that little girl running away from him in zero time.

_Should I threaten to curse her the 'Dark Lord' way if she doesn't get lost? _He wondered.

But regretted it.

It sounded too cruel even for his standards.

He took a look at his watch.

Half-past five.

He hadn't realized how much time this letter-reading had taken away from him.

Draco put on a T-shirt rather inappropriate for February.

Then opened his door and walked down the large staircase and into his father's office.

With tired eyes he inspected the room.

He directed his attention towards a corner where he could hear a certain sound of wings fluttering.

The blonde opened a cage and took out a black-greyish owl, that was called, if he remembered correctly, Abbott.

He wrote her name on the envelope and attached it to the bird's leg.

Abbott made a rather unorthodox, for an owl, croaky sound and flew out of the window, adapting to the black sky perfectly.

_It looks more like a bat than an owl._ The blonde noted.

Then he went to the kitchen for some breakfast.

Yet another night wasted.

He hadn't finished his coffee when he heard the familiar croak from his back.

Turning around he almost spilled the remaining of his cup on the marble floor.

"What the…?" He refrained from cursing.

Abbott was back with a new letters on his leg.

_Draco,_

_I cannot tell__ you how happy I am to hear from you. I was seriously beginning to loose hope. Especially since our last encounter. I see that you still feel a little offended from my fraud but the fact that you are writing to me is a good sign right? I, for my part, am delirious about it. Ok, how about we keep talking that way, cause honestly I don't think I can escape from my mother and go out for coffee with you for the next few weeks._

_She keeps telling me she needs me to be with her and help her out.__ Have you ever felt like you just cannot escape your parents' grip for some reason? Well, that's how I feel right now. I just keep doing what my mother wishes me to even though I don't want to and I know it's not even right for me. It's like she's caged me up and I didn't even protest about it. So now I'm miserable and I don't even want to break free. I feel like I deserve this treatment after all._

_I'm glad __you call me by my real name. Everyone here keeps calling me Tori. Even Elliot (my twin) who is not as despicable as my parents but does it anyway in order to piss me._

_Astoria_

It was after he was done reading the letter for the third time that Draco remembered to start using his lungs again.

Was this girl trying to sound like him? Or did she mean what she was saying?

He felt his blood running cold down his veins.

She seemed genuinely sad.

'She caged me up and I didn't even protest about it.' She said.

Exactly his case.

Though Draco doubted that Mrs Greengrass had made Astoria become a Death Eater and try to kill Dumbledore.

No, nope… quite impossible.

Yet he understood.

Damn it all, he knew exactly how she felt.

Like everything is towering over you and you just stand there frozen.

Knowing you're signing your own death-sentence just by not protesting.

_Astoria,_

_I'm not the right person to talk about things like rotten families and such. I said I don't want friends. Which is true. But you don't need me to be your friend either. And that's also true._

He was being soft he knew. But sympathy is sympathy and no one can escape it.

_What__'s the point in me telling you to stop doing what the others want you to when I would never follow my own advice? Besides, if I told you all was going to be ok, would you believe me? Would you take my word for it?_

_Draco_

He singed the letter and wrote her name on a new envelope he took from his father's office.

Draco watched the bird flew, somewhat sad.

He had thought that such a cheery and carefree person like Astoria Greengrass would have never come across any problems.

He had been mistaken. He now knew.

The next letter came just as fast as the previous one. And Draco found himself alarmingly excited to see it.

It was just six words.

Yet his icy insides melted a bit.

_Draco_,

_Yes. Yes,__ I would. _

_Astoria. _

He fought back a quite un-Malfoy-like smile that was beginning to crawl up his mouth.

'If I told you all was going to be ok, would you believe me? Would you take my word for it?' He had asked.

Her reply seemed to overwhelm him.

'Yes. Yes I would…'

_Stupid girl. _

He took a new sheet and begun writing a reply.

**A/N: Sooo… what are your views about it?**

**Write a review and tell me**

**I really put all my hopes on them**

**Stay at the side of the light**

**Till next time,**

**Sarah**


	5. People's Daughters, Ridiculous Act

**A/N: Hello, hello!**

**Sorry for the lateness, but I have been extremely busy with school these days. **

**And I've also been away in ITALY!!! **

**Yay, that's right. **

**I've been afk for a week so this chapter got a tad delayed.**

**I'm afraid I won't be the best updater from now on people. School exams to blame. **

**But I promise you I will not stop until I'm done with this story.**

**So keep supporting!**

**Pleeeease.**

**I do not own it.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5 : People's Daughters, Ridiculous Act**

He paced up and down his office, restless. Messed his ridiculously blonde hair with pale hands.

Four fucking days!

What the hell was wrong?

He sank his unoccupied hand in his black suit's pocket and pulled out a neat piece of paper.

_Dear Draco,_

_Merlin, you'll never believe what happened! At first, all I heard was a weird croak-like cry. We all run to the yard, surprised, and saw something moving behind the trees. Your poor, poor, ugly owl had crashed on our back-yard's blueberry bushes. Dawson, our sweetheart house-elf, almost had a heart-attack because of Abbott. I was laughing for quite some time but Mother seemed quite displeased. _

_Well, yeah I know__ the story's not half as fascinating as one would hope but staying inside the house for two whole weeks is taking its toll on me. Everyone here is so busy working and doing stuff for the 'Big Celebration' and I just get dragged along. It's so boring! _

_Daphne keeps asking my help and then just scolds me for messing up with her business. And to think that I made it perfectly clear to everyone that I'm a klutz, so they oughtn't ask me to do stuff that require delicacy! They didn't listen. So we'd almost ended up three vases, two armchairs and a teapot short. Reparo saved the day once again, I'll have you know. _

_Shit, I'm blabbering. Sorry. I know you hate people blabbering. It just comes easy to talk to you... How was your day? Tell me all the details. I hope you didn't break yet another broom. I mean you're a worst klutz than I am. And that's saying something, I'm afraid._

_Answer back quickly,_

_Astoria_

_P.S.: Abbott's fine, I think._

He read it for what seemed like the millionth time. And sighed.

He had received that letter five days ago and replied to it the next morning.

However Astoria, who, as a rule, wrote back within minutes hadn't yet replied.

Four days and still no answer.

_Damn!_ He cursed.

He didn't enjoy expecting her letters. He didn't enjoy wanting them either.

But since when was his mind paying any attention to his wishes?

_Precisely!_

He tried to figure out why she was being silent.

No answer.

If she had been too busy with preparations for the celebration they were holding she could have at least sent a note.

'I'm too busy to write. Talk to you soon.'

Or something.

She hadn't been mad at him.

For all he knew.

Which was both a surprise and a fact.

And there had been no indication of a problem in the last letter he had got from her.

So why on earth?

No one knew.

He felt like a fool.

He kept writing and writing and writing to her. Like a bloody eleven-year-old pen pal.

And had actually become accustomed to reading her letters. With all their stupid blabbering that took away his disturbed thoughts.

Like a light that kills darkness.

But she had just been passing her time.

Obviously.

And now she was bored.

Or moved on to the next person who'd catch her attention.

He felt sick at the thought.

_Perfectly nauseous._

He was so angry he could… just… with his own hands…

He didn't finish his sentence. For his own good.

He daren't think. What heartless threat his mind would produce.

Cause it was full of poison. Like a snake's fangs.

A Slytherin through and through.

Three cheers for the Sorting Hat.

His mind was full of poison. Was his heart too?

He laughed.

_What heart? _

"Draco, what are you doing?" The drawling voice of his father reached his ears.

He jumped up alarmed.

He fought the impulse to just say 'nothing'.

Everyone knows that only guilty people use the 'nothing' way out of a bad situation.

"Just thinking." Draco tried nonchalance.

"No, you're pacing back and forth since you came here three hours ago. Which means that you're either trying to dig a hole in the floor with your feet or you just want to distract me from my job with all this noise." His father muttered crossing his arms in front of him.

"I see the possibility of me having some sort of problem I'm trying to solve hasn't even crossed your mind." The younger of the two commented coldly.

"Does it have to do with the law?" Lucious inquired sternly.

"No. Of course not!" The other replied shocked. And offended.

The law?

Had his father forgotten that the only cases he got in trouble with the law were under his command?

"Good then go out for a while. Take a break and when you're back I expect you to be calm." He ordered him.

'Draco, go to your room and don't come back until you're ready to apologize to Mister Avery.'

'Draco, pay attention to your studies! I won't have a failure as a son.'

'Mr Malfoy, as the new Headmistress, I am ordering you to arrest this team under the name of Dumbledore's Army.'

'Draco, obey you Aunt Bella's orders.'

'Draco, do it! Now, right now! Kill him!'

Draco swallowed hard.

Orders. Always the servant, the pawn of others.

And now. A grown man.

And still. Pushed around like a kid.

Helpless, ignorant, without a will of his own.

Always obey.

"I will stop the noise but you can't order me to go out." Draco snapped.

This wasn't a revolution.

It wasn't a declaration of independence.

It was a ridiculous act.

Thinly veiled stubbornness.

He had obeyed so many times.

Now he refused to go out for a walk when ordered to.

Hold your horses Guevara!

He regretted speaking the moment the words were out of his lips.

His eyes narrowed and his fists clenched.

"It was a mere request." Upon seeing his reaction his father shrugged and said.

"Fine." Draco's voice softened. He didn't hate his father now did he?

The man was a devil with everyone else, but, with his family, in his own oppressive way, he was kind.

Draco knew.

He took out his wand and with a sudden, 'pop' vanished.

His father's suggestion for a walk was not a bad idea.

To be honest.

His outburst was to the fact that he had been ordered, not to the idea of going out for a walk itself.

Now that he wished to follow the order, or request, he was given; he chose to do it without a warning.

He'd save himself from the 'So the only reason you snapped at me was to make a point?' speech his father would give him.

Draco Apparated right at the middle of Diagon Alley.

It was a busy Thursday, he gathered.

People were walking fast around him and he followed suit.

Even thought he had no reason to run.

His eyes scanned the scenery with the curiosity of an observer.

He didn't mind people.

As a rule.

All they had to do was mind their own business. And leave him alone.

If they did so he had no reason to shut them out of his life.

By-passers were allowed to enter his life.

Draco could handle their presence.

It was a good pastime to observe and make fun of them in his mind.

It was with the permanent visitors he had a problem.

"What the…?" He would have finished his sentence had he not received a disapproving look from an old woman walking by him.

Soon, though, the image of the old lady was gone from his mind.

_What the…?_

His grey eyes were fixed on the window of Madam Malkin's clothes shop. And beyond it to the figures inside the shop.

One figure in particular.

He had seen her, the way she really was, just once.

Yet he recognized her as soon as his eyes fell on her.

She wasn't looking towards the road so he could only make out her profile. And her black, long hair that were dancing around her waist when she moved.

_Astoria. _

He stood there looking at her talking to a woman who was holding a hideous dress for her.

He should just walk inside the room and demand to know why she hadn't written to him for so long.

Or at least it seemed long.

He should…

_Indeed._

But he found no courage to confront her.

He had every right to know why he was being rejected.

Yet no strength to face her rejection.

He just stood there. Uncertain.

Why not simply go?

Turn the other way. Forget about explanations. Forget about her.

No. That was not a 'Malfoy' thing to do. Then again… maybe that was the perfect reason why he should go.

Look where 'Malfoy' things had led him…

But it was not about family names now. Not even close.

It was about her. Not writing back.

And him. Wanting her to.

Foolishness beyond measure. Hands up.

And then why hesitate? Why not barge in and ask for explanations?

The answer must have been imprinted in his head. Embroidered there from overuse. Cause he always returned to that same point. That very same conclusion.

His favorite vicious cycle.

He was a coward. _That's why_.

His thoughts were interrupted.

She was gone. As if sensing his cowardice._ Gone._

He searched the place with his eyes but could no longer spot her.

_How i__s that even possible?_ He asked himself.

He cursed and stepped in the shop, furious. What other way was there?

He stood at the entrance for a bit. Taking in the environment and heat.

_Where are you Astoria?_ He shouted inwards.

And as if the gods had heard him the curtain of the changing room opened and she came out.

With her thin arms behind her head, trying to button up a red dress. Long, pianist-like fingers tangled between red fabric and black hair.

Fighting to fix what could not be fixed. For that dress was not meant for her. No matter what she did it did not suit her.

It was not a bad dress altogether. He gathered. His mother worn worst, most of the time.

_And she is certainly not bad-looking._ He added. But Astoria and that aristocratic, long, formal dress were not to be mixed.

At any rate.

It was much like Puddlemere United and cowboy hats. Puddlemere United was great. And cowboy hats were cool. But Oliver Wood –Puddlemere's Captain- in a cowboy hat would be a ridiculous sight.

To say the least.

"That's hideous. Take it out." He could not help but spit.

Once again his mouth was going its own way. Of course.

Angry outbursts. Hexes and curses. To the one who dared to overlook him. As if she was the only. Requests for explanations.

All forgotten.

Why so forgetful? _Oh Why?_

Why so forgiving?

_Merlin help me!_

"I know it's awful but…" Her soft voice was quickly cut off. As if taking in the other person's –his- presence.

"It's you!" She seemed surprised. Draco could not tell if it was a pleasant surprise though.

Astoria's eyes turned from dark to light blue which reminded him of the sky in a sunny day. And her black hair became a soft brown.

_Metamorphmagus magic._ He guessed.

"I…" He begun. But thought better of it. He'd rather just stare at her bewildered smile. Any time.

Besides talking was not his forte. Looking on the other hand?

Turned out entertaining.

Astoria inspected him. Equally careful. Though more unsettled.

He had nothing to loose. She had nothing to gain. Out of this situation.

_Unfair__. _Draco observed.

And scolded himself.

Had he any right to speak of justice?

He who had bribed his way out of Azkaban?

No. Not really…

He should be happy. To be free, rich, _alive_… And other such.

Not complaining. Constantly.

Happy to be able to attend cocktail parties. Happy to have a thriving business. Happy to kiss drunken girls in dark apartments.

'What was your name again?' Was his favorite wake-up line.

'Merlin, last night is just…blank.' Most women seemed to like that quote. They always used it with such pleasure.

As if crossing off his existence in their lives was a true joy.

Blame them? Whatever for?

He'd follow their example. If he could. Any day.

'Don't mope too much.' He'd like to tell them. 'My entire _life_ is just…blank.'

But it wasn't.

It wasn't blank.

It was black.

"Draco, I'm sorry. I tried to write back to you but she…" Astoria gasped and closed her mouth immediately. Her wide eyes became the darkest brown. And her long hair turned raven. Making an exquisite contrast with the red dress.

Now his life was not the only black thing in the room.

She was no longer looking at him.

Instead she had focused her attention at some spot behind his back.

"Oh my! Isn't this Draco Malfoy?" Only his long experience in surprises prevented him from gasping as well.

He slowly turned around. To face the same woman who was talking to his mother at the previous cocktail party.

Olivia Greengrass. He presumed.

"Hello Mrs Greengrass. How are you?" He stated blankly. It wasn't even a question.

"Very well, indeed. Astoria here, I don't believe you've met before…" She put in with a remarkably unmasked annoyance and dislike.

It took all his willpower not to laugh.

And his parents wondered why he always chose to associate with drunken cheap girls. Girls who never remembered who he was in the morning. Girls he didn't plan on seeing again.

He was a Death-Eater. Thus not the ideal man for people's daughters.

And _people_ knew this.

Mrs Greengrass' crossed arms were proof enough.

He was not welcome.

Accepted as the son of a business partner?

Maybe.

But as a friend of her daughter?

Yeah…

Draco tried not to chuckle. Again.

"Actually mother, we _have_." He looked up at Astoria whose hair was now fiery red.

"Oh!" Her mother was equally stupefied.

"But I thought you had decided not to write back my dear." Mrs Greengrass put in. Her sweet voice dripping venom.

The blonde took a small step back. Sensing trouble.

So the old woman had to be the one to bring that up.

_Terrific._

"No, mother…" His grey eyes met Astoria's ocean blue ones. With a soft demand.

_Stop! Mer__lin why are you going against her?_ They seemed to scream.

Astoria tried to fight them back but failed.

"No, mother, I stopped writing but he still insists." She said hesitantly. Draco almost smiled.

She was good at this.

Lying.

And did he mind?

Being exchanged for family tranquility.

Merlin no!

He knew what it meant. To sacrifice things –people- to stay out of trouble.

That was why he appreciated lying so much. Saved you from unpleasant truths.

He didn't mind.

As long as she still wanted to talk to him…

"Well, dear, I'm afraid Astoria is a bit busy at the moment. What with her birthday party preparations and…" Olivia Greengrass paused midsentence. Realizing her mistake. Just a little bit too late.

"Birthday party?" Draco faked a happy face.

Faked.

Not because he was unsatisfied with the woman's little slip. But rather because he didn't really know what a true happy expression was like.

"Mother will be thrilled to hear of it." He added. Astoria beamed next to him.

"Oh! Well… ehem… of course… I'll… make sure to send an invitation for you then…" She mumbled.

"I'll go then. See you in a week." Draco nodded. Seriousness prevailing again.

He turned and descended.

But just before exiting the store he spotted a plain white dress. Silk, he believed. It had nothing much on it. Except for some small flowers curved on it. It was hanging next to the door. Alone and forgotten.

It was rather small and knee-length.

That's about all he could say for a dress. He was not an expert.

But he liked it.

"Sorry Miss?" He tapped a saleswoman on the shoulder.

"Yes?" She asked in a bored voice.

"Mrs Greengrass over there wanted me to tell you to save this dress for her daughter." He tried to sound polite.

"But… she had already chosen that red one the girl's wearing." The girl said perplexed.

"Well, yes, she wanted this one too. Wait, I'll pay for it." He took out a handful of galleons. The girl looked at him shocked but didn't protest anymore.

Money had that effect on people.

He knew.

Draco paid and left the shop immediately.

The street was less crowded now. It was already lunchtime.

He Apparated back to his office. Thoughtful.

"Father I think we have a Ball to attend on Sunday." He said instead of greeting his father.

Lucious groaned.

"Bloody Balls." He cursed.

But Draco didn't agree.

_Balls a__re better than Azkaban right? _

He shook his head thunderstruck.

Choosing Balls over Azkaban?

That was a first.

**A/N: So, how was it?**

**Let me know with a beautiful review!!!!**

**You know you want to…Hehehe**

**So I just wanted to say , that, Draco is becoming a bit softer and that shows from his expressions as well. He's not that bitter anymore. **

**Well, yeah…**

**Thanks for reading (and reviewing?)**

**Lots of looooove**

**Sarah**


	6. Roses and Knives, Then nothing

**A/N: So, hey!**

**This chapter is like huge… **

**So I'm kinda scared you'll fall asleep in the middle**

**Anyway, **

**If not****, I'll see you in the end**

**But before I leave you to it, I'd like to say that this chapter goes to one of my bfs Brooke, who like totally deserves this, cause she's so cool !**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 6 : Roses and Knives, Then nothing**

'_And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave_

_Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made_

_And like a baby boy I never was a man_

_Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand_

_And then I fell down yelling, "Make it go away," just make a smile_

_Come back and shine just like it used to be_

_And then she whispered, "How can you do this to me?"_

_Hate Me – Blue __October' _

He looked around the crowded room, uncomfortable.

What was he doing, inviting himself to an event like that?

He hated Balls.

With good reason.

People were celebrating.

_Seriously?_ He felt like shouting. _What for?_

Was it their money that couldn't buy respect anymore? Was it their names that meant nothing to anyone but themselves? Was it their pure blood that was probably the only pure thing left in the room?

Was it their perfect lives they were celebrating?

Their happiness that they were drinking to?

He hoped not.

For both their sake and his mental health.

He would probably get pretty annoyed if they started making toasts.

'To a year just as good as this one for Astoria.'

'May this girl follow her parents' footsteps.'

'To Astoria. With a wish to become worthy of her family's name.'

_Oh, yeah… _

Merlin forbid.

Those toasts would have sounded more like curses than wishes. To his trained ears.

Trained to idiocy.

Or hypocrisy.

He wasn't sure which one fitted best. In that case.

He suddenly paused.

Dead in his tracks.

Why was he making a fuss about guests? And toasts? And her?

It wasn't any of his business.

What others said about... What others thought of... What others wished for…

_Her. _

As long as he was left alone. He would be great.

Well, let's not be so overenthusiastic about it.

_I would be… _

_Satisfied. _

He corrected.

Great could not apply to his lifestyle.

Bloody Balls.

"Stop trying to mentally commit suicide. She'll be down in a few." Draco snapped his head up as a familiar voice spoke.

"Elliot? No wait, Astoria?" The blonde asked.

Cause right there in front of him stood a black-haired boy with blue eyes and a knowing smile.

"Actually it's really Elliot this time." The boy chuckled and said.

Draco nodded in agreement.

It was true. Despite the general similarities he and his sister's adaptation of him had , you could tell the difference.

The real Elliot was taller, more masculine and with a stronger jaw line. All in all, he looked more mature and well… manly, than Astoria's Elliot.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. At last. I've heard some stuff about you." Elliot pointed out conversationally.

But the blonde was not sure what to make of it.

Heard some stuff, huh?

Good or bad stuff?

The second. Surely.

"Tori can't shut up about you." Draco winced at the mention of the name. Tori.

She hated it. Didn't she?

Then why did everyone kept calling her that?

"Yeah, I thought so. I just don't see why." Draco admitted.

"Well, you're quite famous." Elliot put forward. To the blonde's dismay.

"To put it nicely." The older of the two added in a blank face.

"Tori's not the kind of person who falls for this type of 'bad dude' charm." The boy explained. Though nothing was cleared up by his words.

On the contrary.

"Do you mean to say, she doesn't like me?" Draco sounded calm.

Calmer than he felt.

"The opposite actually. I mean to say she is interested in _you_. Not your name." The other one replied. And the blonde opened his mouth in shock.

He was beginning to accept the fact that Astoria liked him.

It was true.

It could happen.

Girls liked and always will like bad guys.

But to think that what triggered that friendliness was a likeness to him. In particular.

As in, the blonde grim man standing in front of her. With his smirk only hanging. From his otherwise useless face.

Well, that was unexpected.

That was…

_Impossible._

"She likes you for you. Which puts me in a very difficult position." The black-haired boy got suddenly thoughtful.

Draco didn't bother to ask 'why'.

He was used to bringing people to difficult positions.

He had no reason to question Elliot's statement.

"Because, now I have to kick you out of this place." The boy seemed deadly serious.

For a moment Draco thought he would indeed grab him by the shirt and throw him out of the window.

Or just Flipendo him out.

That would do too.

But then he realized. The boy was not speaking literally.

And sighed.

He'd hate it to lead the future owner of the house to St. Mungus.

That would ruin his lately good behavior.

And would lead him to Azkaban. Before he could say 'Dementor'.

Once again Draco didn't ask for explanations.

Why would you throw the Death Eater your innocent little sister likes out of your place?

_Good one_. He thought.

"Ok." The blonde simply said. Embracing fate. Now he would probably be escorted out by two huge guys who would come and politely ask him to leave.

"Ok?" Elliot sounded unexpectedly surprised.

"You're not going to protest? You're not going to ask me to let you date her? Not going to promise me you will never hurt her? Not going to swear you've changed? Or beg me to reconsider?" The boy's blue eyes shone with exasperation and…

Could it be?

By any chance?

Disappointment?

Draco shook his head. Both as an answer and in order to dispose of those annoying thoughts.

"Firstly, I don't plan on protesting. Secondly I am not _or _going to date your sister. Thirdly, odds are I _will_ hurt her. Fourthly I have _not_ changed… Oh! And I don't _do_ begging." He said in a clear voice. Or a clearly sarcastic voice. Both could work.

"Then why do you associate with her?" The younger boy asked.

Only slightly angry.

To Draco's surprise.

"Maybe they were right. Maybe I am indeed a very bad person. Maybe I don't give a shit for her. Maybe I wanted to hurt her." The blonde paused, not quite sure about what was coming out of his mouth.

He knew it was easy for him to say those stuff. Like it came naturally.

But then again he knew none of what he said was true.

For one reason.

Or another.

"Or maybe I just wanted some fun." He finished.

With mixed feelings.

Calmness. For he was speaking his mother tongue.

And agony. For he was ruining everything he was beginning to care for.

_Care for?_ He gulped.

He cared for things?

Since when?

He'd swear nothing mattered to him. If asked.

Afterwards he'd admit he cared for his own well-being.

But that was it.

Wait.

_Was that it?_

He watched as Elliot stared in his gray eyes.

Perfectly petrified.

A boy just out of school.

With no bad experiences. No bad memories. No bad deeds.

How could he _not_ be scared of his sickening sincerity?

Of his blood-thirsty eyes. His blood-stained hands.

"My sister is not that kind of girl. Stay away from her. Or else…" The Greengrass boy didn't get the chance to finish his sentence.

"Save yourself from threats you could never turn into actions. Besides it was not I who attempted to meet with her. And I'm pretty sure it's not you who's gonna decide when she stops meeting me." Draco decided to lay all his cards on the table.

"If she knew what kind of man you are…" The blonde snorted at that.

"What makes you think she doesn't?" He asked icily.

"She would never… Astoria is not the kind of girl who looks for trouble." Her brother assured.

"That's hard to believe." The other commented.

"She'd have to be absolutely desperate to turn to you." Elliot spat. Unaware of the impact his words would have to the blonde.

Because had he known, he wouldn't have spoken.

"To that I would have to agree. Astoria is desperate. But not because of me." The former Death Eater was mad now. As he hardly ever was.

The boy's words had made all the things Astoria had told him flash before his eyes.

All the things. The letters. The tears.

About her family.

Her being made to stay inside by her mother.

And her brother living in his own apartment. Never talking to her.

"I might be a bad person but it is you who's causing her pain." Draco went straight to the point.

"What are you talking about?" Elliot had not expected the conversation to turn out that way.

"Your mother is making her stay inside the house for weeks and weeks. Threatening she will disinherit both her and you. Your father is always accusing her of being a failure and Daphne is only thinking of Blaize. As for you… You've disappeared from her life." His father had taught him to stay out of other people's business.

'The only way to make them stay out of yours.' Lucious used to say.

Draco had been obedient for long enough.

"I-I had no idea she was putting up with all this." The young boy whispered. More to himself than the man next to him.

"I've offered her to come and live with me!" He tried to excuse himself.

"She said she didn't want to." Draco laughed at the boy's last words.

"Who would want to live as a burden to others?" He countered.

"Sweet Merlin! I have to make her come with me. I cannot believe I have been so blunt. All those times she said all was great. But it wasn't! And she told you? She must really…" But soon Elliot realized his co-speaker was not listening to him.

Instead Draco's eyes were fixed at the stairs right behind his back.

And he cared about nothing anymore. Nothing but what those eyes met.

There, behind the crowds was a girl in a white, silk dress.

Her black, long hair cascading down her bare back. Free.

A white rose keeping some strands out of her face.

Her nicely curved body quickly walking down the stairs.

And she was smiling. Her wide warm, shining smile.

Not at the crowd.

Who seemed more willing to suffocate her youthful beauty than praise it.

But at him.

Who kept assuring himself it was from the animated conversation.

That he had suddenly lost his breath.

"Draco!" He heard Astoria's voice over the fake cheers of the guests. And swore inwards.

She just had to draw all the attention to him.

The blonde crossed his arms in front of his chest. Recovering from the shock.

Waiting for her to actually approach before speaking.

"Happy Birthday." He muttered coldly.

"If you keep glaring at me that way, it surely won't be happy." She replied. Mimicking his move.

"It's all your fault. You just _had_ to shout my name in front of everyone. And now they're all staring at me." The blonde motioned the rest of the guests who were still looking his way.

"People are always staring at you. You can hardly blame _me_ for this." She pointed out. Uncrossed her arms and smiled at him once again.

But he ignored her smile. That time.

Everyone was staring at him.

Again.

Why?

_Sweet Merlin why?!_ He wanted to scream.

What were they expecting of him?

That he'd begin pouring Horcruxes out of his pockets and Avada-ing people?

_For real?_

He hated those looks.

Interested looks. Not even glares.

Glares he could understand.

Glares were… understandable.

But looks of curiosity. Those he couldn't stand.

There was nothing interesting about him. Only pain and failure.

Nothing intriguing about those.

"People are staring at you, I think it's the _hair_." Astoria's soft voice awoke him. It sounded closer to his ear.

"Draco, they expect you to stare back." …Closer than he could tolerate.

He took a small step backwards totally ignoring Elliot. Who was still glaring.

"Don't give them the satisfaction." She had moved backwards with him. Like he had feared she would.

"I can hardly imagine it means anything to them if I-…" He was interrupted by a hand. Reaching to his mouth.

"Oh, it means _a lot_. They enjoy it. Trust me, I know all about it." Draco barely managed to hold himself back. From grunting.

"For example I know for a thing that at least ten men are looking at me right now." Astoria commented mildly. Never shifting her gaze from him.

He, however, could not help but stir a bit. In the spot.

_Men are staring at her?_ He felt inexplicably irked by that revelation.

"No, no don't look!" She protested as he tried to shift a death glare around the room.

"That'll make them even more interested." He complied quietly.

"Mother's gift I'm guessing." Elliot suddenly popped in the conversation.

"Yeah…" The girl whispered. And even though she was still inched from his ear he had trouble hearing her.

"Sometimes I just can't believe her." Elliot hissed.

"Well, there's no better way to get rid of a burden than to dress it up and 'sell' it to some pureblooded groom. Right?" She continued.

"What do you mean?" Draco asked. He did not appreciate being left out of conversations.

"Hey! You stay away from my sister." Elliot's anger returned to him as if conjured out of thin air.

"Elliot," Astoria begun. "I've told you a thousand times, you don't get to decide who I talk to or who I see. Plus, there's no need for you to worry about Draco. He's perfectly peaceful. Aren't you _sweetie_?"

Draco did not appreciate being left out of conversations.

True.

But even more than that he didn't appreciate being called 'sweetie'.

Or any other candy-related nickname.

For that matter.

He glowered at her.

"I know hexes you can't even pronounce Astoria. Don't piss me." He said.

And stopped. Just for a moment.

To consider it.

He was telling the truth.

He knew spells that others shuddered to even think of.

No question about that.

But would he really use a spell like that?

To her?

He felt that same irksome sensation crawling up his spine.

Up his neck.

Up his mind.

Regret.

For speaking that way?

For meaning it?

For having realized this threat in the past?

It was hard to choose.

Turning up his head to look at her, he prepared himself.

For the fear. In her blue eyes.

But the fear failed him.

It did not show.

Or maybe it had. But he hadn't been fast enough to see it.

Whatever the case.

Astoria just chuckled.

_Just…?!_ He shook his head. To stop stupidly blinking at her.

"I'm sorry but the look on your face was just priceless." He didn't laugh. Not even close.

He did not like the carefree way with which she regarded his actions.

She knew didn't she?

What he was capable of.

He grabbed her wrist and before Elliot could protest he disapparated.

With her in his side.

The sudden reaction had surprised even himself.

That was why he hadn't thought out where to head to.

He was too shocked.

The first place that crossed his mind was Knockturn Alley. He hated that place.

And soon they were both in that familiar paved, dim-lit street. Who was full of stains. That were either dirt or blood.

Or both.

Probably both.

As queer shadows passed around them he stared down at her.

_What have I done__ now?_ He kept questioning.

"What is all this about?" Her eyes were serious now. While she tried not to look at the suspicious wizards. For, men who hide themselves in the shadows have always been suspicious.

"I couldn't…" Words failed him.

"It's just that…you…" He stuttered nervous.

"You really have no idea." Draco breathed in. There…

"About what?" He was surprised to see she hadn't lost her composure.

"About this. About the past. About _me_." He messed his silver blonde hair.

He was feeling exposed.

And he didn't quite fancy it.

Still he went on.

"I tell you I can hex you to hell and back and you laugh. Had you known…" Had she seen him two years ago…

"Had I known what?" She defied him. Like she so liked to.

"Had you known what I've done to the last man who made me say this, you wouldn't laugh." If Draco had been able to see her face clearly he would know by then how pale she was.

Like drenched. As lifeless a figure as the man he was speaking of.

"Is that why you brought me here then?" She inquired plainly.

He didn't quite see the meaning behind her words.

For a moment there.

Was it because of shock or pure innocence?

Even he couldn't tell.

"Are you going to kill me here? It does seem like the perfect place." The blood froze in his veins.

Like it did when he met with the Dark Lord.

Once.

So that was what she meant.

Kill her?

_Kill her?! _

_Her?_

His mind must have stopped.

Right at that question.

Repeating it over and over in his head.

And like a loop, the more he tried to free himself from that question, the more it strangled him.

Was he going to kill her?

Was he capable of murder? In general.

He had been close to it. Many times in the past.

He had seen it with his own eyes.

And he lived with two murderers.

So why not?

If there was one thing holding him back that would have to be cowardice.

At least that's what he always told himself.

Till that moment.

Cause at that moment he knew.

There was more.

He dreaded to admit it. But that was the truth.

And funny thing about the truth?

One cannot overlook it forever.

It _wasn't_ just that he was a coward.

It never was.

There had always been something else lurking at the back of his head.

A silly sense of righteousness. Of compassion?

A sick little wish to escape.

Did that make him any better a person? He wondered.

No.

Definitely not.

One is righteous because he acts righteously.

A man is brave because he fights bravely.

Not because he thinks righteously.

Or speaks bravely.

He had never acted thus.

And so could never claim those qualities. As his own.

On the contrary.

Just the mere fact that he –as opposed to his father- did possess those few drops of goodness made him even guiltier of his crimes.

For he had the sense to stop them.

But didn't.

_Just didn't. _

'Are you going to kill me?' She had asked.

And the answer had appeared before his eyes. Before she was even done speaking.

Kill her?

_No. __How could I ever? _

The righteousness that was always hiding was now screaming.

That crippled bravery of his was now tearing down walls.

Walls it took him years to build.

"Killing you would be _pointless_." Numbness was the closest thing to calmness he could master.

"What is the _point_ then, the reason? What is it that is worth all the pain and despair and loss you have caused?" Her words stabbed him.

"Back then it was a matter of mere survival." Draco had never heard his voice so strikingly emotionless.

"Back then… Yes. But I'm not asking about back then now am I? What is the point _now_?" She discarded him easily.

"Now… now there is not point. No reason. _Everything _is pointless." He cleared up.

Because everything _was_ pointless.

To be honest,

even feelings,

when they had come,

were,

Pointless.

"I'd have rather died back there. You're right after all. It wasn't worth it. Survival wasn't worth it." He looked away from her.

He felt now.

What he wanted.

What he really needed.

Was right before his eyes.

And then he looked away.

Away from what was not his to take.

"So why am I here? Why are we talking now in such a place? Why all this commotion?" Her hands flew up in the air in exasperation.

"If you don't cherish anything anymore why did you ever reply to me, that first time I spoke to you?" She was right.

He shouldn't have spoken to her.

He knew it.

Then again she was wrong.

As well.

He had things he cherished. Now.

But no reason to show it.

When he could, he never acted.

Now that he wanted to, there was no point in acting.

"Because I'm a bloody coward! Because maybe it's too hard to face the fact that you're dead. That as you failed life, life failed you back." He gasped at his sudden outburst.

His face was flushed and he felt hot.

Hot.

As in… alive.

"Oh what the _hell_ am I saying?" He cursed. Just by meeting her startled gaze he knew he had made a mistake.

"You can never understand what all this is about. And maybe it's better that way. I have no idea why I said all this. Yes, it's better if you don't know." He nodded to himself. Like a madman.

"What am I doing blurting out all these nonsense? Tormenting you that way. Like taking some sick pleasure from troubling you. _You_ of all people." He pressed his hands on his forehead. Trying to make the pain go.

"Me. Yes. What about me? Am I like some sort of hobby, to keep you occupied? A toy? What _am_ I Draco?" Now it was her turn to speak.

"I needed someone to remind me of how life ought to be. How life is for those who had been better than me. That was you." He said truthfully.

"So I'm a specimen. Something to point and say 'look that's a lively person'." Irony was dripping from her very essence.

"No! No. You are…" _Everything._

"Yes?" She dared him.

"Nothing. Never mind. Let's just say I used you. But it just didn't go as planned." She scanned his face. Calmer now. Thoughtful.

"You just wanted someone to hang on to." She assured. And he fought to deny it.

"And you always give me more excuses than I am worth. You need to stop that. It's not helping anyone. Especially not you." He knew now what he was supposed to do.

Push her away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her hands on her hips. She looked like she reigned the dark streets.

"You keep saying it wasn't my fault and that I was used and that deep down I am good and so on. Well, hate to break it to you but I'm not." He breathed out the last part exhausted.

"I'm a bastard. And even if now I don't plan on killing you that doesn't mean I wouldn't hurt anyone!" He raised his voice.

"Bloody hell, I've spent one year of my life planning ways to kill one of the best men I've ever met. What makes you think I deserve any of your niceness?" That left her dumbfounded.

She did not speak for some moments.

"Then be someone who deserves it." Astoria declared stubbornly.

"Cause I won't stop giving it to you." Her words were laws. He knew he could do nothing to change them.

Just obey them.

"Well, well… isn't that the oh-so-innocent Draco Malfoy?" As happiness was beginning to fill Draco it was suddenly cut off. By a hissing voice, he knew he had heard before.

Upon turning around he met with the dark eyes of a man at forty-odd. He quickly recognized the square, scarred face as that of Thorfinn Rowle.

The Death Eater. The one the Dark Lord had once ordered him to torture. The one who hadn't yet been caught.

"Rowle." He hissed back. Picking his pockets for his wand.

"Now, now, that's not the way to talk to a fellow comrade, is it?" Rolwe was looking for trouble. Draco realized that soon enough.

But what about Astoria?

He shivered.

"What are you doing here Rowle? Shouldn't you be hiding? The Aurors are still looking for you." The blonde adopted a calmer voice.

"I was hiding, I was… But then I heard your voice and realized, we hadn't seen each other for some time, had we Draco?" Rowle smirked provocatively.

"Oh, now you're not talking to me?" The Death Eater took some slow steps towards the Death Eater.

Now they were facing each other.

"Do you remember Draco? What was the last time we saw each other?" Now Draco swallowed hard.

He did remember.

"Do you remember Draco?" Rowle screamed.

"Yes." The blonde admitted.

"Last time… oh yes. Of course you remember." Draco pulled out his wand. He took one look at Astoria who seemed shocked behind him and caught her hand. It was shaking. But she didn't let on.

_Disapparate._ He ordered himself.

"Expelliarmus." Hollowed Rowle. And his wand flied at the walls on his left.

He had lost his chance to escape.

"That's right Draco. It happened just like that. I had pulled out my wand to Disapparate too. And you had disarmed me. Yeah, just like that." The man pointed himself the crazed smile never leaving him.

"And then…" Suddenly Draco knew. All that was going to happen.

He looked around him, helpless.

"Draco I'm unarmed." Astoria whispered quickly to him.

He then realized.

He had forced her to come there with him and she hadn't had the chance to get a wand.

They were both unarmed.

"And then Draco you raised you wand above me." The man raised his wand too. Mimicking his words.

"Damn." The blonde swore.

He played his options in his mind.

He could run.

Maybe he could even escape.

_But Astoria? _

He made up his mind.

He wasn't running.

Instead he stood there facing Rowle.

Making sure there was no way the man could aim at the girl behind him.

"And said," Draco didn't feel like closing his eyes.

If that was the end, he was fine with it.

"Crucio!" The blonde felt the familiar burning knives being thrust upon him and he fell backwards.

He knew he had hit something harder and sharper than ground but he hardly cared for that.

He did all he could not to scream. To the point where he felt tears welling up his eyes.

"You did it only once. It's true." In the back of his head he could hear the man's voice. Though he could neither see nor fully comprehend the words he was hearing.

"But no one ever said I am equally kind." That could mean only one thing.

"Crucio!" Again Draco, who had merely stirred from a moment ago, felt as if being stabbed.

A thousand times. In the same place and in all places at once.

He felt blood in his mouth. But had no strength to lean forward and dispose it.

"Draco!" Astoria's scared voice tingled his ears.

"No, stop it. I won't let you do it again." Draco heard strange sounds and fought to open his eyes.

At first all was blurry.

Yet soon he could see Astoria jumping forwards trying to take Rowle's wand from him.

She was brave.

He realized.

He tried to say something. Anything. To stop her.

But his voice choked in his throat.

"Oh, what a sweet little girl! You care for him don't you? No, no, no. That is not yours to take." Once again the blonde opened his eyes.

Astoria had returned to her previous place. Probably pushed there. And was glaring at the man.

He tried to move and cringed in pain.

Still he tried again.

"You look scared little girl." Rowle laughed and said.

"You should know better than walk in a place like this, that late. And with a man like Draco!" Draco clenched his fists at once and with one last attempt he managed to kneel.

His hands supporting his body.

He felt blood all over him but discarded it.

"What would your parents say? Girls like you should be punished. Of course." Rowle pointed his wand at her.

"Crucio!" He shouted.

Draco never recalled being so scared in his entire life.

And yet never so strong.

He would have sworn his feet were broken.

Yet he stood up.

And with drunken steps walked back to his initial place.

He grabbed her hand and drew her close to him.

Wrapping his arms around her, he smelled her aroma.

Roses.

And knives.

He sighed and fell to the ground.

Astoria on the other hand moved backwards a few steps.

Speechless.

"Well, look at that. Draco have you joined the Order, by any chance?" Rowle stood over him menacingly.

"You have changed. You're no longer that obedient pet you used to be. The Dark Lord would have been very disappointed. Yes, indeed." In the man's eyes insanity shone.

"What to do with you… What to do…? Oh I know!" Draco knew too.

He knew perfectly well.

What fate awaited him.

"Avada-" But the man was not meant to finish his sentence.

"Imperio!" It was Astoria alright. But her voice was different.

It was strong and angry and powerful.

Rowle's eyes became white and his armed hand fell to his side useless.

"Go to the Auror Department and give yourself in." Astoria ordered the imperiused man.

And like a shadow he faded away.

"Draco!" She kneeled down next to him.

His head that was on the stoned street came across something warm and soft.

And his face was washed by tears.

"Talk to me. Please!" She begged.

He opened his mouth and strangled with words.

"Astoria…" He hadn't thought about what to say next.

The pain he had been ignoring boldly finally catching up with him.

He saw her blue eyes.

And then nothing.

**A/N: I guess that was kinda weird and brutal. **

**Hence the T rating. **

**Well, I just felt like it was needed. **

**Tell, me what you think of it,**

**It was so extremely hard to write this so I'd really appreciate comments**

**I have some more dedications but that'll be in the next chapter. **

**Till then,**

**Be safe, **

**Sarah**


	7. Debts to Aurors, Heartbeat

**A/N: Taaa-dah! Long awaited chapter!**

**I love this chapter I'll admit it. **

**Tell me what you think of it. **

**Dedications next chapter and we're coming to an end…**

**Enjoy!**

**PS: I have this one-shot, called 'There's this guy, hypothetically' check it out if you like. **

'_Take me away upon a plateau_

_Far, far away from fears and shadow_

_Strengthen my heart in times of sorrow_

_Light the way to bright tomorrows_

_Take Me Away- Globus'_

**Chapter 7: Debts to Aurors, Heartbeat **

He took a deep, breath, with difficulty. His whole body was in pain.

"He'll be just fine Miss. No need to cry now." An unknown voice came to him from afar.

He did not open his eyes. Years of practice in passing out had taught him it was pointless.

It was painful to even breathe. So he didn't care to know.

What facing the sun would be like.

His hearing was improving though. And it hardly ever hurt to listen.

But no one was speaking.

Not anymore.

There were just sobs.

He was in the hospital. For sure.

He recognized the smell of medicine in the air.

The uncomfortable bed.

The soft faraway voices of the nurses.

And the sobs of relatives.

_The sobs…_

Ah, yes of course. In a hospital.

Merlin knew why.

He just relaxed and let the sobs cover him.

Lucky.

Whoever those tears were meant for, he was a lucky person.

"Draco, _please _wake up." The blonde had no intention to open his eyes. Excruciating pain was sure to follow. If he did so.

And there was nothing in the world that would make him provoke pain now.

Nothing but this.

Slowly he moved his eyelids. He made some effort to adjust to the light of the room. Then he waited for his eyesight to clear up.

As weird as it might have seemed the first thing he saw was her eyes. It was her favorite shade of blue. They were also red.

Her long dark hair were falling on her face. But she was making no effort to push them away.

_They're hiding her face._ He noted testily. He enjoyed her face, her clear features. From the thin lines of her jaw to her well-shaped black eyebrows.

Nothing should conceal them.

Suddenly he remembered the predicament he was in. The wish to smack his head to the nearby wall taking over him for a second.

"Astoria?" He whispered. Though there was hardly any reason behind the question mark.

The girl's whole body stiffened in an instant. She stood up from her chair. Abruptly. Then sat back down.

Her teary eyes met with him, who felt a pinch of guilt.

At the thought he had been the one causing the tears.

He remembered now.

Yes, surely.

Memory usually came with consciousness.

She must have been so scared. To have faced such a brutal man.

To have seen him do stuff… Terrible stuff.

She must have been terrified.

Once again it was made clear to him. He had no right to associate with her.

To drag her in that hell with him.

"You're awake!" She shrieked, but didn't seem to care if she was disturbing someone. "I-I…" He wasn't sure what to say to that.

"You bloody fool." Now her blue eyes narrowed. He sighed. It was only to be expected.

He used his imagination to think up what she would say next.

'How dare you put my life in danger?'

'This is all your fault. All your doing.'

'You should have died back there. You deserved it. After all the things you've done.'

'You're disgusting!'

He really couldn't choose. Not really sure which of those would hurt him the most.

"You idiot. You scared me so much. I thought I'd die if something happened to you!" He closed his eyes. Counted to ten and reopened then.

He was still unconscious and dreaming.

No question about that.

"A-Are you alright? Merlin's pants I startled you didn't I?" She said in a worried tone. As she saw him closing his eyes shut.

"You don't hate me?" He asked defensively.

"Hate you?" She stared at him incredulously. "I owe you my life."

At that he gasped. It was no dream.

That was reality.

The same cruel, rotten reality he has spent his days in.

The dream was now reality.

And reality blurred away.

Like a dream.

"You owe me nothing. I'm the one indebted here." He stated with the low, strict voice of his.

"You?" She gasped.

"If I saved your life then you have saved my soul." He felt particularly ridiculous for speaking that way. His words seemed taken from a poem or a romance novel. They sounded unreal, overly romantic to him.

He hated that kind of talk.

Always felt disgust. For all those people who used big words about their feelings.

Like 'love' and 'forever' and 'heart'.

_And 'soul'. _

He was heartless.

That was why he discarded such declarations of affection.

Or so he used to think.

Now another truth presented itself.

It was not the words he distasted.

It was the people.

'I will forever love you.'

'You are my life.'

'I have you in my soul.'

'We will be together forever. Our love is eternal.'

If _every _person who _ever_ said those things meant them, there would be no divorces.

No break-ups. No tears.

The world would have been a beautiful place.

_It wasn't._

So he'd _rather_ not have to hear of all those lies.

But the thing was. What he had just said was not a lie.

It was one of those rare times that words merely depicted the feelings.

He felt saved. And it was her doing.

As simple as that.

As real as the sun and moon.

"All I wanted was to be with you." She whispered, a small smile on her lips.

But it fell fast.

There was someone coughing from the door.

Draco hadn't noticed the figure before. What with his dysfunctional eyesight and Astoria being herself so close to him.

It was not hard to ignore the man in the leaning on the doorframe.

But as soon as he saw him, the change was evident.

The blonde stood straight on his bed and fixed his narrowed eyes at the newcomer.

"Potter." He muttered.

The man from the doorframe stayed silent for some more before nodding with a serious face.

"Malfoy."

The silence proceeded.

"Didn't I tell you he's not in a state to talk? What are you people _stupid_?" Astoria exclaimed furious.

Draco sighed audibly. Trust her to call the entirety of the Auror Department stupid for his sake.

"I'm sorry." Harry Potter mumbled, profoundly taken aback by her fiery reaction.

"We just had to ask a few questions." He added, unsure.

"It's ok Astoria. I'm just fine." It was not a _direct_ invitation to enter.

The blonde would never invite Potter in.

It was more like a roundabout permission.

Thankfully Potter took the message and walked in.

"We had an unexpected appearance in the Auror Department about five hours ago." The Head of the Department began.

"I see you've received our package." Draco smirked at Astoria.

"_You_ did that?" It was made clear that his old classmate was referring to him. So Draco shook his head.

"It was I who casted the Imperious curse." Astoria put in proudly. Though the blonde was not sure she'd really get a prize for it.

"What happened Malfoy?" The Boy Who Lived messed his black hair and asked.

Nodding Draco recited the events. Leaving out the unnecessary parts and moving fast across the embarrassing ones.

"So you saved her life." To the blonde's dismay his tricks didn't work. Potter knew well how to annoy him.

"I thought we cleared that up." Draco grunted.

"Yes, well that doesn't make it any less impossible." The black-haired man muttered, looking back and forth between the two people.

"Doesn't make it any less real either." Astoria protested.

The Auror's silence resembled disbelief more than confirmation.

"You really are useless without that bushy haired muggleborn of yours aren't you, Potter? What reason would I have to Crucio myself?" Draco mocked. And felt the usual satisfaction that stemmed from it. It had been long since he had last made fun of Potter and Granger.

"And why did Rowle attack you?" His former enemy asked.

"Revenge." It was quite simple really.

"Were you not in the same side?" Draco didn't enjoy the expression with which Potter had uttered those words. It looked as if he wished to disgrace him by bringing up the past.

Well, it really couldn't be helped.

_That kind of attitude is almost acceptable coming from him. _The blonde thought.

"He was repaying me for torturing him." Why not admit it then? Potter knew _exactly_ who he was anyway.

"During the War?" Indeed the black-haired Auror didn't seem surprised.

"Dark Lord's orders." Draco confirmed.

Potter nodded again. That time he appeared more persuaded.

"And you are Astoria…?" It was her turn to be interrogated and the blonde wasn't pleased with it. But he knew Potter a bit too well to fear he might mistreat her.

"Greengrass." She filled in for him.

"Daphne's sister." Draco explained.

"I see. So what were you doing out at that time, Astoria?" Potter took another step closer.

"I was talking to Draco." She replied easily.

"In Knockturn Alley? You were talking in _Knockturn Alley_? What about?" During the past eleven years there was not one time he and Potter saw eye to eye.

But at that point he had to agree with the Chosen One.

Knockturn Alley was a nice place to import stolen goods.

Or have a fight with someone.

Or even kill someone

But it was the worst place to talk.

"None of your bloody business." The blonde snapped. Luckily his school rival didn't protest too much.

"And you're absolutely positive it was not you who started the fight?" He looked quite unwilling to let go of them so easily.

"Was Rowle injured in any way Potter?" Draco raised his voice that was still strained.

"No." The other man admitted.

"So what makes you think we attacked first?" The blonde retorted hotly.

"It's just hard to believe you're absolutely innocent, that's all." This time Potter was not ironic. It was an honest reply.

Truthfully, Draco found it hard to believe it himself.

"How dare you! You have no clues whatsoever to support your accusa-…" Putting a hand on her shoulder Draco stopped her from finishing.

"Astoria could you go fetch me some water please?" He whispered to her. She stared at him suspiciously for a while. Before nodding. He knew she knew he just wanted her to leave. But he was glad she agreed anyway.

She stood up and exited slowly.

Then he took a wary look around the room. His eyes resting on a small table.

He tried to stand up wincing. His face contorted with pain and he fell back.

"My wand is on the table. Have it checked if you want." He declared, breathlessly.

"No need. We'll just make Rowle drink a Truth Potion and we'll see." Potter said dismissively.

"Will I need to testify?" The blonde asked.

"Probably both of you." The other answered motioning Astoria with his eyes.

"Is it really necessary for her to be present?" At that Potter seemed thoughtful.

"She _is_ the most reliable witness." He said after a pause.

"Her family doesn't know she was there. It'd be better if they didn't find out. Plus it's not a nice place to be to." The former Death Eater explained quickly.

"Very smart Malfoy. Sneaking out with young girls and getting into trouble." The Auror's voice was strict. In a way Draco would never accept. But he was right.

"I wasn't planning for it to happen." The blonde hissed angrily.

"Does it matter really? Had she died would it matter?" The black-haired man replied likewise.

"Of course you wouldn't care…" That made Draco's blood boil.

"I took the curses for her, do you really think-" He closed his mouth.

What was he doing explaining himself to Potter? Of all people…

"So Astoria…" A new look took over the Auror's face. It was that of interest.

"Sod off Potter." He growled.

"Fair enough. Astoria can give her testimony to me before the trial." It was rather hard to believe it. But it was true. Potter had just done him a favor.

"I'll pay the judges to let her out of this. You don't have to do anything." He assured.

"It's not a big deal Malfoy." Potter said rolling his eyes.

"Is that a favor for old time's sake?" He hoped that would make the Auror reconsider his plans.

"It's for the times to come Malfoy. Apparently we're bound to meet again, so I'd rather we meet on civilized terms." Potter could not have been more…_Potter_ if he tried.

"Yeah, sure, it's not like I've tried to kill you or something." Again irony. Like he was somehow scared. Scared Potter had forgotten.

"Funny, Malfoy. I see you haven't lost your sense of humor." Potter made a disgusted face.

"Potter you do realize who you're helping don't you?" Draco put in trivially.

"Astoria." The other replied.

Both nodded.

That could settle it.

"If you ever want me to repay you…" The blonde started.

"I don't count on it." The Boy Who Lived snorted.

"She is important, Potter. I _will_ repay you one day." He said in a tone that didn't take no for an answer.

"See you in court Malfoy." The black-haired guy waved and left trying to conceal a smile that was spreading.

"Why is _he_ smiling?" Astoria, who had come across the Auror, asked.

Draco just shrugged.

"So where's my water?" He inspected her empty hands.

"Yeah, like I believed you." She rolled her eyes.

"I could be choking to death…" He joked playfully.

"Suits you well, for making me leave. What did you and Potter talk about anyway?" She smiled sneakily and sat down.

"Old times." He replied vaguely.

"He has a lot on you doesn't he?" He made a sound like 'grmph' and looked away.

"Still he seems like a nice person. At first I got a bit annoyed by the way he was looking at you, but when he smiles…" She smiled too and paused. Just long enough to make Draco clench his fists and make his chest stop hurting.

"Well, I'm afraid you're a little late. He's already engaged." He muttered through gritted teeth.

Of course he stood no chance in front of _him_.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no! I don't _like_ him. He might have saved the world but he's not my type." That allowed him to take a breath.

"I see. That's why you called him stupid huh?" He sat up on his mattress and smirked at her. She crossed her arms defensively.

"I was referring to all the Aurors." She retorted biting her lip and he chuckled.

"At least you're not discriminating." He teased and she blushed.

"Well, I couldn't have them talk to you like that now could I?" Her blue eyes were sparkling and he felt his heart beating fast.

He almost feared she might hear it.

Until he realized he didn't mind.

Hell, he'd wish she was close enough to hear it.

Something surged inside him like the flood.

He felt overwhelmed.

By her soft smell of roses and her clear face.

He leaned forward and cupped her face with his hand. It was soft, like he had imagined it to be.

She was looking at him now, expectantly.

He pecked her lips slowly as he plunged his fingers in her silky hair.

And he felt himself drowning in her.

He tasted her and she cropped her hands around his neck.

Without hesitation she stood up, never parting her lips from his, and she sat on his bed.

He took her waist and drew her closer.

He didn't know if she had felt his heartbeat but he felt hers. Annoyingly satisfied at how he excited her.

As he sought for air she opened her eyes.

They were the most beautiful blue he had ever seen in them. He wasn't sure if it was possible but he thought he saw stars in them.

But then reality snapped him out of it.

He let go of her and draw back.

"That was a mistake. A _huge_ mistake. I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have gone that far." He mumbled in a way even he didn't comprehend what he was saying.

"And you? You should have stopped me. Why didn't you stop me?" Now he was looking at her.

"Cause I didn't want you to stop." She stated simply.

"Fool. You should avoid people like me." He cursed.

"Why so? I find you adorable." She tried to touch him but he pulled back some more.

"I am a bad person. I belong in Azkaban." Draco pointed somewhere out of the window where Azkaban was supposed to be.

"Yeah, you've mentioned that before but is this _your_ idea of yourself or someone else's?" She smirked.

"Well, they are correct." He put in annoyed.

"I beg to differ. I think you're…" She didn't get the chance to finish though.

"Yes? Say it then. Tell me what is so good about me? Rack your brains. You're not gonna find any-…" He was cut off by her clear voice that still made his insides swell.

"You're serious and wise. You can be surprisingly funny in your own sarcastic way. You can be really good at talking to people. Problem is you just hardly ever get interested in someone enough to talk to them." She paused to breathe.

"You did horrible stuff but you're not Voldemort. You keep denying it but you're filled with guilt. The only reason you don't wanna be happy is cause you think you don't deserve it. _And _you saved my life."

"But I'm just a-" He protested weakly.

"Yes, I know, you're just a self-centered jerk," She declared strictly like she always did when she was being serious.

"But, damn it all, you're _my_ self-centered jerk!"

Silence covered them both. For a moment.

Till he emerged from it.

Not in triumph. But in regret.

For he'd rather drown in silence than speak back.

"I'm a coward." He assured. As if this was the biggest of his crimes.

"So am I. Big deal." Astoria simply shrugged.

"_No!_ You haven't seen what I have seen that's why you say it's no big deal." His hands raised despite the pain that came from it.

"But I know how it's gonna turn out. I _know_ it and it terrifies me." Draco's eyes had never been grayer. More grim and depressed.

"My father is a coward too. When the Dark Lord first appeared he followed him to gain power. Then when Voldemort fell he took Dumbledore's side to save his skin." He recited looking away.

Her shining blue eyes never helped him. To act like a cynic.

"After he was resurrected my father went begging for forgiveness. I became the sacrifice. The sacrifice my father had to make to get his place as a Death Eater back. I did all sorts of shameful things for us to survive." The blonde inspected his hands. Almost certain the blood he had spilled would show on them. He could not touch her face with those hands. Never.

"Then the War was over and we had been defeated. All was gone. Reputation, half our fortune, respect!" He felt strangely lighter. To have finally spoken of all this.

All the thoughts on the table.

All the fears exposed.

His soul hers for the taking.

"All because of my father's cowardice." It was after all their biggest crime.

"You're not your father!" Astoria's eyes flashed as she spoke.

"I'm telling you, I'm not different. I might be good and obedient now but if by some joke of the universe something bad happens and I or the people I care for are in danger I will do anything. To save myself and my family I will commit any kind of crime. I will betray every value that I have."

_And sooner or later I'll have to pay for it._ He hesitated to add.

So why should he get close to people? Make a family?

For what? To sentence them in the life he was sentenced.

_I won't have children only to sacrifice them like my father did with me. _

_I refuse._

"I don't understand what scares you so much." It was the final blow now. The last bit of the puzzle. The last fort to fall. The biggest fear of them all.

"I'm afraid that if I were in my father's place I would do exactly the same things and end up in exactly the same dreadful position he had ended up." He spoke as if ready for years, as if prepared by fate. Prepared to conclude his life with that sentence. "Dragging people in that darkness with me is the last thing I want." Astoria's eyes filled with tears. He stared at his hands once again. He could not handle her breakdown. Her pain… it doubled and transferred to him. Yet, she hugged him tight. Like he had wrapped his arms around her before.

"It's ok. Don't worry." She played with his hair and pressed him to her.

"How can I not?" Draco mumbled in a strained voice.

"You won't end up like your father. You won't do the same crimes again. You won't sink into darkness." He looked at her with pleading eyes. Confused. Scared.

"I won't let you!" Like a strong gust of wind, that sentence blew away his fears. As long as it came out of her mouth it had to be the truth.

"I'll stay by your side and when bad things start happening again I won't let you make your father's mistakes. _I won't let you!_" She repeated with conviction.

Draco was a coward. But he knew not to show it.

In fear or despair he was calm. He smirked and laughed. As if he enjoyed it. As if it meant little to him.

And in happiness?

What was it like when he was happy?

Easy one.

Draco Malfoy was never happy.

Never.

Never till that day.

She wouldn't let him…

In the bad times he so feared would come. She would be there. With her smiles and sapphire eyes.

With him.

Whatever her reasons. He felt deeply and uncontrollably happy she had made that decision.

But the problem was, he didn't know. He didn't know what to do to show his happiness.

It was new to him. That feeling.

That sensation that was trying to blow his mind away.

What words would have been enough?

'Thanks'? 'I owe you my life'? Even 'love' echoed insufficient in his mind.

So, he, who had no idea what to make of his happiness, just smiled. He didn't know if he had smiled like that before.

If he had it should have been something extraordinary.

But there had been nothing so extraordinary in his life before Astoria.

So he guessed it was his first time to smile.

Indeed.

He smiled and kissed her again.

**A/N: Review, review, review…**

**I am so anxious to hear what you have to say.**

**So pleeease**

**Kisses**

**Sarah**


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